Im dealing with somethings in therapy… I think most of my problems are coming from childhood trauma… and I feel maybe I am struggling so much because I’m still trying to be who my mum wants me to be… I get homesick when I go to my partner because im worried about home and I want to be there to help mum with paperwork she depends on me … I don’t want to blame mum and I dont hate her but when I was young and was struggling with bullying and trying to take it out at home… I was hit if I cried until I stopped… maybe thats why I struggle with emotions…
If I move in with my partner my benefits will cut off and I will be dependent on him completely … he does not mind I knlw he’s there but would this be selfish? I will work on myself and then look to find a job…
I didn’t get involved in that kinda of thing because I knew that would be the case on the front end but if that’s what you have to do that’s what you have to do. It might work out. The disability systems I feel are designed to discourage people like us from having marriages and children ultimately and it’s an unfortunate thing. If he’s willing to accept it there’s nothing selfish about it. But there is something wrong with a government that makes that the reality for the disabled.