Shopping list for love

i wonder if he’ll know
when he sees my face
i wonder if he’ll mind
my complete lack of grace
i wondr if he’ll retch
when i squidge a zit
or join me in the mirror
to se if he competes with it
i do not want his dirty clothes
littering up my floor
and if he says “i’m the daddy”
i’ll swiftly show him the door
i do not ■■■■ my father
i don;t need another child
just a man who’s independent
gently yet manly and mild
neither meek nor condescending
not jealous or full of spite
not my mr know it all
nor always mr right
i need a man who loves me
and accepts all of my flaws
who when i rat arsed and need a pee
will help me pull down my drawers
who’ll hold me on the toilet
lest i fall flat on my mush
and when i’m done and the room is spinning
will gently wipe my tush!!
i want a man who can cook
and look after himself
one ■■■■■■■ word about his mother’s cooking
and he’s straight back on the shelf
loving pets is a must
i have animals in this house
teenaged children come as standard
if he can’t deal with that, he’s out
don’t care what he looks like
so long as he likes a giggle
and when my favourite song comes on
he’ll join me for a wiggle
so if there are any takers
please form an orderly queue (lol)
leave your name and number
and i’ll get straight back to you! :slight_smile:

6 Likes

I’m pretty much always looking for Ms right but… What can you do?

I know I sound dark and negative but it seems that in our drive for progression we as a society have forgone such antiquated notions like love.

Maybe that is playing a big part in our Dysfunctional society.

1 Like

hmmm love…i don’t think it’s antiquated but im not naive enough to think that it will last a lifetime. you’re lucky if after 7 years you can still laugh with your partner i think. my late hubby and i had a good relationship but it wasn;t strong enough unfortunately. he was, i wasn’t. i’m a bit of a commitment phobe so i wouldn;t allow any man to move into my home. my kids come first. this is their home not my boyfriend’s, whoever he turned out to be so separate houses would be a must. what can i offer? well i have a great sense of humour and i’m chatty and relatively ok looking…i’m not too hot on the sexual side of things but then i don’t suppose a lot of people are. i don’t need looking after and i don;t need to be supported financially. that’s what i have to offer. :slight_smile: what do you have to offer?

You sound pretty cool jayne.

What I have to offer would quickly reach a point of diminishing returns.

Such is life right?