i wonder if he’ll know
when he sees my face
i wonder if he’ll mind
my complete lack of grace
i wondr if he’ll retch
when i squidge a zit
or join me in the mirror
to se if he competes with it
i do not want his dirty clothes
littering up my floor
and if he says “i’m the daddy”
i’ll swiftly show him the door
i do not ■■■■ my father
i don;t need another child
just a man who’s independent
gently yet manly and mild
neither meek nor condescending
not jealous or full of spite
not my mr know it all
nor always mr right
i need a man who loves me
and accepts all of my flaws
who when i rat arsed and need a pee
will help me pull down my drawers
who’ll hold me on the toilet
lest i fall flat on my mush
and when i’m done and the room is spinning
will gently wipe my tush!!
i want a man who can cook
and look after himself
one ■■■■■■■ word about his mother’s cooking
and he’s straight back on the shelf
loving pets is a must
i have animals in this house
teenaged children come as standard
if he can’t deal with that, he’s out
don’t care what he looks like
so long as he likes a giggle
and when my favourite song comes on
he’ll join me for a wiggle
so if there are any takers
please form an orderly queue (lol)
leave your name and number
and i’ll get straight back to you! 
I’m pretty much always looking for Ms right but… What can you do?
I know I sound dark and negative but it seems that in our drive for progression we as a society have forgone such antiquated notions like love.
Maybe that is playing a big part in our Dysfunctional society.
hmmm love…i don’t think it’s antiquated but im not naive enough to think that it will last a lifetime. you’re lucky if after 7 years you can still laugh with your partner i think. my late hubby and i had a good relationship but it wasn;t strong enough unfortunately. he was, i wasn’t. i’m a bit of a commitment phobe so i wouldn;t allow any man to move into my home. my kids come first. this is their home not my boyfriend’s, whoever he turned out to be so separate houses would be a must. what can i offer? well i have a great sense of humour and i’m chatty and relatively ok looking…i’m not too hot on the sexual side of things but then i don’t suppose a lot of people are. i don’t need looking after and i don;t need to be supported financially. that’s what i have to offer. what do you have to offer?
You sound pretty cool jayne.
What I have to offer would quickly reach a point of diminishing returns.
Such is life right?