She's always been ill

Relax @anon64158233 it’s ok. I hope I didn’t offend. Just trying to bring you up to speed :hugs:

Lol I’m relaxed… just trying to help out with the poster with the mustache delusion.

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Ok I know I tend to have a bite at times @anon64158233 and I didn’t want to offend you :hugs:

It’s ok @anon98519533 you are so sweet to be protecting me like you are and to be supporting me. I really needed that. I guess not everyone is going to agree with my decision, and that’s ok. If only they walked a mile in my shoes. If I had been firmer with her in the past maybe I wouldn’t be having to be so firm now. But with our children we don’t always know what is the best course of action in teaching them. All I can do is my best, that’s all I’ve ever done.

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Np, there is so much toxicity in my family that most would find delusional. Thankfully, I’ve learned life lessons so that I was capable of being there for you. I hope I didn’t offend anyone. I have to keep my impulses in check

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You didn’t offend. I guess I was playing devils advocate and wanted to explore a different side because I thought it was lacking.

Edit: @Leaf like I said you have the most info and therefore you can make the best decisions. It sounds like you already have conviction. Regret is a theme for me. And I always think about ways to mitigate it.

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I think it’s great. You’re a little spitfire and obviously a loyal friend.

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You know you’re right about regret. I already have regrets but I have to go by what I’ve already said or my words mean nothing.

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how can you regret teaching your daughter that there are consequences in this world. She might hit rock bottom but at least you tried. Imho blood doesn’t mean ■■■■ if that relative ■■■■ on you. Just take your meds, listen to what healthcare team says and move forward. Life is about choices no matter how painful they can be. Besides, recently I’d seen how this has been negatively triggering you. There comes a point when health comes first and foremost

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You’re right. I know you’re. Ok. I will. I can be strong. I have to focus on myself getting better.

Have you written down the pros and cons of your decision. Seeing it on pAper and realizing the abuse that happend can help you change your thought process. Look at the evidence before you…it helps me

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I can try that. It’s actually a no brainer. Our homes are our sanctuaries. If we don’t feel safe and secure in out homes something is definitely wrong. All I told her was that she isn’t welcome in my home anymore. I told her we could meet at the park or a restaurant to be able to spend time. So I didn’t completely cut her off. I just fortified my sanctuary.

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Gold :star:️ I hope the best for your family

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That sounds good Leaf, I thought you were taking a harder line in the sand, and creating an ultimatum situation. Those things can cause grudges and silent treatments in and of themselves. I thought this scenario had the potential to be prolonged. But you left a door open to communication, and that will protect your mind. I think you handled it the right way.

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Ty for qualifying where you were coming from @anon64158233 younearn respect when you rationalize behaviors :hugs:

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The last time she stole from me, a few months ago, she stole a roll of quarters that was for the laundry room. At that time I restricted her from going anywhere in the house except the living room or the bathroom. That was not enough of a restriction because she still found a way to steal from me which I would have never thought of. She went into my computer and used my paypal account to send money to a paypal card. She’s a very bright criminal. Thankfully it was only $20. It could have been so much more money and I could have ended up bouncing the rent check or my loan payment. It really scared me so that’s why I don’t want her in my house because I don’t know what other ways she can rob me. She’s also stolen coins from my coin collection and gold jewelry I got from my husband.

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Your truth isn’t the universal truth. It’s just your opinion. Don’t offend people, it’s not nice.

@Leaf you’ve done all you can for your daughter, for the time being.
You need to cut yourself some slack and realise that you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. It’s really up to your daughter to try turn her life around now. She needs to figure this out on her own now, in my opinion.

You’re a wonderful person, and i truly believe you have been through enough of this. Stay strong and remember to protect yourself, and your family.

Love youuuu x

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Thank you honey. Kiss that piglet for me. Love you too.

You’ve done the right thing. Some people are givers and some are takers. Sometimes people can convert from one to the other but it has to be a willing change on behalf of the person. Seeing as your daughter has abused you so many times and has never complied with any sort of therapy, what choice did you have. I can appreciate it’s tough and always will be. You still love her and care for her, you just don’t want to be taken advantage anymore. You did the right thing @Leaf.

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One last thought, @Leaf, I looked up “oppositional defiance disorder” on Wikipedia and it quickly brings up something called “Conduct disorder”. The two get confused apparently. But it’s actually “Conduct disorder” that deals with theft, and not showing respect to age-appropriate people.

(Granted, I use Wikipedia a lot.) But you may want to take a look at “conduct disorder”, it could be a topic that brings you two closer should your dialogue with her reopen. I’ve been misdiagnosed in the past so I think it’s appropriate to share this stuff.

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