Schizophrenia.com

She won't see my son because I'm SZ


#1

These days my mom said to me that she doesn’t want to see my son because she doesn’t want to get too attached to him. SHe said that being SZ I could have a crisis and then my husband’s family would restrict her access to the kid, so she would rather not get emotionally attached to the kid. Her grandson.

My father didn’t even call back when I tried to reach him and tell him he’s a grand dad.

I feel lost. My older brother recently has had his daughter too, and my mom already got attached to her, after two months. No problem there.

My marriage, my son, my family life mean nothing to both of my parents, because I’m SZ and their other children aren’t.

I’m shocked. I didn’t even tell my husband why I’ve been so sad lately, he realised I won’t tell him and just tried to cheer me up. I have no one to talk to about this. It saddens me so much.


#2

I am so sorry to hear this. Perhaps you can work this out with effective communication among you and your husband? :disappointed:


#3

Wow - your mother is very harsh and insensitive. Children do well with more love and attention - but if your mother can’t provide that thats her problem.

Its important for you to get over your depression - I recommend you talk to your doctor about it and add an anti-depressant to your medicines. Depression is very stressful and can cause other problems - so its important to address it quickly. Your mother has her beliefs and opinions - but I’m sure they are frequently wrong and just because she has them doesn’t mean they are accurate.

Focus on trying to take care of your son, and getting good treatment and you’ll likely do well.


#4

I am very sorry that happened. If my mom did that I’d replace her with a grandma figure. You can meet an old lady probably in churches or at a retirement home. I’d put an add on their bulletin board. There are plenty of old ladies out there who never had the chance to be a grandma and would love to dote on your son.


#5

@anon33673328, I am so sorry this happened. Your mother sounds very mean? What kind of mother is that? I have a mother like that. I understand. Wish I could say something to cheer you up.


#6

@szadmin I am focusing on getting good treatment, and I don’t mistake sadness for depression. I’ve been depressed, but what I feel right now is justified anger and dissapointment, also a sense of powerlessness. However, it’s not depression, I wouldn’t add any antidepressants to my current AP, as it works as an one itself.

If I could find a pill to help me cope with having an insensitive, disrupted family, I would gladly take it. But there is no such a pill, and it’s my own responsibility to learn how to cope.

@Plumber My husband is already very annoyed with his mother-in-law, I don’t want to add one more story to that annoyance. After all, she has agreed to pay for my CBT therapy, as my insurance does not seem to cover it. So, at least she is trying to help. But she managed to make me feel mal at ease with her comment and actions. My husband would be enraged.

@jukebox @metime Thank you. :sunny:


#7

i am sorry zupa, i think that is very insensitive of your mother especially at this stage after just giving birth to a child (i’m assuming) if that is the case then i think you need all the support you can get, what about your husbands family? are they ok, sorry i just can’t imagine my mother doing that to me :frowning: i hope you can learn to get over this and that she comes to her senses


#8

Yes, my husband’s family has learned to tolerate my illness, more now that my brother-in-law’s girlfriend is also SZ. (incidentally). They are very supportive of the little one and he will have all the love he needs from thier part, luckily. It’s just my own sorrow that my mom told me that, but I won’t let the child worry about it too much when he grows up. Hopefully, he’ll never ask.


#9

Have you tried getting your MIL to talk to your mother? Your MIL seems like a nice lady. If the two families develop a relationship, they can trust each other and things can get better. Your mum’s not being kind right now, but it’s obviously because if her own fears.


#10

I am so sorry that this has happened to you, Zupa. Your mom did the wrong thing that hurt you so much. What you can do is forgiving her and distancing yourself from her. Don’t get too hurt from this wrongdoing by your mom. Stay strong !


#11

@Hatty1 That might be a good idea oly the last time they talked my mom said some very nasty things to my MIL and vice versa. I don’t thik they will ever learn to be tolerant of one another.

My MIL can be a nie lady if she wants to but she isn’t always that nice. The only thing that is splendid about her is the relationship with my son. She is a very good grandma, and I encourage her to be one as much as I can.

@green5 thank you, I will.


#12

I am very sorry to hear that your mother is acting like this. No one wins in this situation.

I do agree with so many on here, you have to let you Mom stew in her own anger and her own problems. It’s most likely a good thing that your little boy won’t be exposed to this negative person.

I hope that in future, she might be able to see what a great opportunity she missed, and hopefully it won’t be too late by then.

I’m wishing for the best for you, your son and your husband.

Thank you for letting me post.