She noticed I was depressed

I need to get this off my chest. I know I usually just talk about my wife but I don’t want my disease to ruin two lives, and that’s how it feels right now. We went on a date Saturday and I was being good not talking about my condition, just focusing on her. She could tell I was in passive emotional suffering the whole time. She finally said so in the car.

My wife just knows me so well, and it hurts her to see me in pain. I’ve talked with her seriously about whether she would be better without me and it’s out of the question. But these drugs are making me depressed. And I am drowning her.

Can we really get better? Please tell me. I feel like the best I can do is find a place of tolerance, not joy. I was doing better with some hope that I could lower my meds, but I’m not sure that’s still possible. I feel like this is as good as it gets, and so my wife is my caregiver and in a way, stuck. And I’m with her, in love but not happy.

Thanks for reading. Have you gotten past where I am? Or are you in the same hope as me?


Yes, we can definitely get better. It’s a slow ride, but a ride nonetheless.

Takes a good positive attitude that we don’t always have.
Takes determination, that you already have.
Takes being serious about recovery, whatever that concept means to you.


Are you on antidepressants, minnii? Do you know if they even work while on APs? Or if I remember you avoid antidepressants bc of relapse risks. Is that it?

I’m not. My pdoc won’t prescribe them to me, I begged him to, but he didn’t. :sob: Must be for the best though, I’m probably going on Lithium in January.

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Why he did changed from invega to lithium…one guy in hospital was shaking its arms from lithium.i am afraid of it😀

I’m not changing from invega to lithium, I’m adding the lithium to my med regimen

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I also feel bad about my bf for having me as a gf. I mean he so could find somebody healthier and have happy easy life with her. I am trying my best to become better than I am now. He deserves better.

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Here’s an idea I mentioned before. But can you get your doctor to add 5mg of abilify to your med regime.

This could help your depression. It would also lower prolactin, thereby getting rid of the other problem you mentioned previously (man boobs).

That’s what I’d do if I was in your situation anyway.


My doctor told me I didn’t need antidepressants to . But let me try them ,kinda a shot in the dark,said they won’t hurt me. He put me on Zoloft a I had a great recovery after that. I was in your condition about 14 year’s ago and have steadily improving to the point that I am happy with. There were many steps along the way. And each step I thought this is it I have sz it’s as good as it gets. I was wrong I continued to Recover. I have some slight side effects but I never plan on going of my meds I have had a couple relapses only because I stop my meds. I also feel we are somewhat more sensitive to the spiritual , so my relationship to God is key to me in my recovery. Keep up the fight there is room for recovery.

above all, dont lose hope! I was a recluse for 15 years and I still believe firmly that its possible to live even free symptomatic. dont be hard on yourself and stay positive. I am on Zyprexa and Depakote. I think Depakote helps a bit my negative symptoms or the depression… meds help, trust them also :slight_smile: .

I got depressed of APs and a SSRI has helped me loads. Some doctors are reluctant but I would ask for a trial. I take 60mg of fluoxetine.

I’m in a relationship and my partner is very affected by how I’m going. He worries, just like your wife does.

I was suffering depression earlier this year and my psychiatrist put me on lexapro. (actually he upped my dose to 30mg from 10mg) Maybe you need to try that, or change antipsychotics? Especially if you fee the depression is cause by your AP.

I agree with Minnii’s first post, it takes a lot of understanding and determination.

Just ask your wife to be patient with you and ask her to make sure she takes care of herself so she doesn’t get depressed or stressed out dealing with what you are going through.

It gets better, but you have to stop thinking of yourself as a burden. It’s a self fulfilling prophecy.

I would consider a new dr. If your pdoc won’t allow you to try antidepressants.

I’ve been severely depressed before. Nothing helped me for a long time but eventually it just lifted and I was no longer depressed. Sometimes you just have to wait it out.

He deserves what he wants and what he seems to want is you… Sometimes it is nice for a man to be wanted/needed, so being a grateful burden can work. Saying thank-you and appreciating his help is a good thing. Complaining that you are a burden on him, is not just self effacing, it is damaging. He is obviously willing to try, so make it easy for him and don’t focus on feeling sorry, focus on how wonderful it is to have someone in your life who cares about you.