Since sex is not anymore a reason to get directions what to do. Like getting rich and live healthy. I sort of don’t do much. I don’t have children cause I don’t want to pass sz on.
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I also fear of passing Sz on but anyways I can’t have a partner now because I can’t work or have disability money.
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To me, sex is too scary to be a motivator. I have nightmares about being molested.
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What does motivate you. What makes you hungry to act and do something? I know a few children and teenagers and try to make them happy. For example I write little stories out of my experience or do surprises. That occupies me.
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I dreamed of a life camping and hiking. But the medication stops me being free and independent. Nature motivates me. But somehow psychiatry stopped me living my dreams. I moved to a countrytown but the doctor there refused to give me medication. So i had to move back to the city.
I’m so sorry you had to experience that @anon53623539. Can’t you travel to the countryside every now and then to do your camping and hiking?
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No i can’t. The Psychiatrist took my driverlicense as well. They really attacked me. Sometimes it was like if they want to know if i suicide. They put a lot of pressure on me. The only thing I could do is walking a hikingtrail, but i got to be fit for this, but i am not. My friends talked me out to walk this 6 week trail. I am waiting for a partner to hike with. Well, i could prepare for the hike on day x.
Finding a life partner kinda motivates me. Also fear of breaking my parents’ heart has stopped me from considering suicide when I was going through rough patches. Music, cartoons, jokes, good food… these are things worth living for even if you are living on disability. Helping others, if you are able to, comes in a close second.
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