Have you ever had a moment that something set fire to the sky? It could be when your wife announced she was pregnant. Meeting someone and falling in love. Getting your dream job. Just something in your life that caused intense emotions. What was it?
Yes but it was something I wouldn’t like to re-visit.
When I first started hallucinating. I was at work and !!!
Anything positive at all?
Falling in love…seemed positive at the time. But it was such a terrible experience of heartbreak and letdowns and the onset of my psychosis. Meeting HER set fire to the sky. i changed my whole life for her only to be left in the dust to never be spoken to again after i become psychotic.
I’m sorry. Why it didn’t work out? Because of your illness?
That’s why I didn’t want to re-visit it. But I’ve moved past her and tried my best to forget her. I made some mistakes, but still I felt she treated me pretty badly.
I’m sorry. I’ve treated someone really badly also but I was young and stupid. If I had my current mindset, it would be different. He was so immature and I was immature. I’m sure you’re gonna fall in love again and it’s gonna be extra-ordinary. I believe in soulmates.
Falling in love the last time. It happened so quick and joyfully. We met for dinner one night, hit if off immediately, went to a museum the next morning, had lunch, and were together every day for 4 years after that lol.
And even though we’re not partners anymore, we are still much a strong part of each other’s lives.
I still think of it as if it’s magical
I remember the first time I thought there was a camera in my apartment watching my every move. I was just walking on the street and the thought just burst in my brain. It did set fire to the sky.
My life was so well for a little while…for about a six month period. Until I met her. I thought she was a girl that could be a chapter in my life of goodness, even if she wasn’t the one I was gonna marry, I thought she could be my “girlfriend”, a step in the right direction… but I was wrong. Maybe she felt used…I guess I was young and naive and immature. But she told me “Take hallucinogenic drugs and you can be good enough for me” pretty much, and then with that the rest of my life was history. But it wasn’t the drugs that drived me crazy as much as her trying to drive me crazy and miserable. I feel she’s the devil. A bat out of hell. Some Karmic endeavours will be the best of her one day but I try not to think and/or worry about that. I’m doing much better now, but things will never be as good as they could have been. Oh well. You live and you learn.
The thing is I feel she has no regrets. Would admit of no mistakes made by her. She blames me for all her “issues” when I’ve had a much harder time than she has. Oh well.
I’m sorry, I’ve never experienced with pills. But wow, I know you’re 25, at what age did this happen? was she older than you? I just find it hard to believe that a young girl would say and do such a thing. If she knew better she would do better anyway.
she was 18 i was 19.
i was dumb and foolish for letting myself get so attached to a younger girl
but i was very immature at the time
ive matured a lot in my experiences
I wish I never deleted the picture of me from when I was 19…I deleted it when I was psychotic because I thought people would get a hold of it or something. But I was a real good looking attractive guy when I was young. Like REAL good looking, all the girls would stare, smile and say hi to me. Now I’m just another face in the crowd. But it’s okay. I don’t need that much attention anyways now I’ve realized as I’ve gotten older.
My Wedding day was pretty special, including the reception.
I am divorced now, but looking back, it was a pretty emotionally filled time - It was a good time for friends and family also.
It’s the price I paid to “see”. Before I ever did drugs I never felt I could “see” the world, for what it really was. But amidst all that I became psychotic. It’s something I read about in books. “Seeing”…is the ultimate goal. Maybe I’ll start working out again idk.
First time…such intensity… Drugs, unfortunately.
( wonder how many kids will only know for emotions induced by stimulants…just sad)
And it happens often now when I have a kid.
I remember being jubilant and ecstatic when I bought my first new pick up during the oil field days…jimi hendrix came on the radio as I was driving off and I exclaimed…" haha yaaaa hoo !! "
second time was getting accepted to Oklahoma University…I was on top of the world…
third time was my wedding day…such a great day.
hey you still look pretty good. I’ve seen your picture, you have a really cute face. Maybe you could practice smiling a little bit working out is good for you, when you work out, you feel better and you look better, I encourage you.