I’m working with my T on how to connect with people. I’ve been pretty decent since my last inpatient. But I haven’t figured out any plans in how to do that yet and I’m starting to see the slightest of signs that I’m getting bad again.
I feel very very pressured to hurry and figure it out. I don’t know why I feel so rushed to get this issue with people solved before I go back into issues in my head. I’m really hoping it’s not some vague sign that I’m going to get so bad that I will have to heavily rely on connecting with another person to get back to my normal. The only person I can do that with is my boyfriend and the “connection” is not as strongly based in trust as it is in routine.
I don’t know what to do. I’m constantly switching from inside (brain) problems to outside (world) problems and I can never seem to solve one before the other comes back. It’s a vicious cycle of nonrecovery.
Oh and avolition is kicking in hard. I’m already behind in school work, paperwork for my job, and I was supposed to go have my eyebrows done everyday for the past 6 days but never went. Which makes me feel ugly. I hate all of this.
When you say connecting with people what do you mean? Do you mean you don’t trust them, or are you scared of them, or do you just feel out of place? Or something else?
It might help you to write a list of your internal and external problems and rank them for which ones are most important. And then the most important ones try to figure out how to work on them?
Like with the people thing for example maybe make a point to talk to a coworker about the weather or something everytime you work and maybe it’ll branch out into other stuff.
And as for the avolition on a day off make a point to do absolutely nothing. Take a day to just stay in bed. It might help you feel less stressed.
Thisssssssssss is a GREAT idea. I feel like you know me lol. I’m always making lists and trying to prioritize on paper. I just never thought to list inner and outer priorities and compare them. Very clever. I will do this.
