Self doubt is high inside me

I highly have self doubt and whether I will manage to achieve my dreams or not :cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry:

Living reality is better than dreaming.

1 Like

I think we all do to some extent. Some of us more than others. It goes with the territory. If you have limitations you’re going to have self doubts. I know I do.

1 Like

Hopes and dreams provide the fuel to achieve success.

I live the present instead of dreaming.
I gave up my dreams since I got schizophrenia so now I only live the present.

My dream was to become a Dr.
I know its impossible now with sz.

1 Like

My dream was to become a successful software company CEO and entrepreneur again but I know that is impossible. But even at my advanced age of 65, guess what I might have learned today while sitting on the toilet thinking? I thought “I have to accept where I am in order to move forward.” And then it was business as usual.


Your dream isn’t over. I might want to be a doctor. Im 30. Hardest part is finishing med school or even getting in to one. I like science and am good at it. Not sure about blood yet…

I’m worried about licensure and being allowed to be a doctor with schizophrenia. It seems like a gray area and if you drop out of med school you’ll owe 250k + in debt.

I like it a lot and more.

Only other job for me is entry level programming or actuarial science. Im turned off now by the competition, personality, low pay, cost of living, limitations in employment in certain fields for me, etc.

You can be a doctor at any age. I guess you gotta be hard working, motivated, stable, safe, and smart. I got the smarts, but have no motivation right now.

1 Like

I am also very smart especially in university, had very high grades but when sz hit I wouldn’t study at all for exams, I was lost in my delusions, hallucinations and lack of motivation. But when I did study I had high grades. I finished my physiotherapy degree with a 3.1 GPA, was 3.9 before my sz diagnosis and I still had symptoms before my diagnosis. I really believe I could have been a Dr if I never had sz.

1 Like

btw The max GPA was 4.3 in my university.
3.7 you can transfer to pharmacy, anything higher you can transfer to medschool after passing an interview. My friend did it, he got in medschool.

1 Like

I would have been a finance guy or investment banker/Hedge Fund guy making millions. It never happened and won’t. Even if I did everything right, something will happen like they’ll dig up posts or past youtube videos online, twitter, and facebook posts etc. I’m a Trump supporter and I can’t even wear a hat or buy one because I’m afraid I’ll be beat up. I don’t have balls, I guess. With the way things are going, I’m probably best taking it easy and living easy. I won’t change my beliefs or my religion. I do have fear about anarchy, chaos, and war, but I just hope it doesn’t happen and that I’m safe. Conservatives get a lot of hate. That’s why I like keeping my beliefs or politics quiet and private. I’m also non-confrontational.

They do facebook background checks and possibly even AI background checks in the future. I’m sure schizophrenics are liabilities, embarrass people, and are not only taken advantaged of but discriminated against despite the so-called “Disability Laws”.

I believe something bad happened to me in 2011 at college like MK-Ultra or something a lot worse. Possibly a fake alien abduction even.Sometimes I just call or think of it as MK-Ultra out of simplicity because no one knows or has heard about Monarch or Montauk Project. It led me to develop schizophrenia and the whole bad high or substance induced psychosis thing is a cover for them in my opinion. It really messed me up.

Theoretically, I could still be a finance guy, but I feel like it’s not a good choice anymore. Maybe a doctor would be more interesting (helping people), but maybe even impossible and challenging. I have a good heart.

Finance is easy unless you do quant work or something.

I can’t be a physics major due to paranoia; I can’t be a computer scientist out of fear/paranoia, etc.

I’m smart but really dumb since I got the schizophrenia like I lost 20+ iq points it feels. At least 10 guaranteed. I read that most doctors have above average IQs but you don’t necessarily have to be a genius. I know IQ is stupid, but I think it used to be 130+.

I’m not smart enough to be a physicist or mathematician for sure not since I got sick. Math was always my hardest subject despite getting into a top 5 math program in the country/world. I never failed a class. Lowest I got was a C. At community college I got a 3.9 gpa and it got reset when I transferred and I ended up with a 2.7 or something. If you combine the two it is over 3.0, but I feel like that is cheating, but that’s what people do…I plan on transferring again some day (which also makes me paranoid) and getting better grades like Bs/As and graduate with a 3.0 gpa or higher. They say you need a 3.5 gpa min to get into med school and 500+ MCAT score. I like everything science and I love studying.

I’m just so scared, nervous, and fearful all the time. I like staying at home in my room or outside smoking. I also worry about being judged or “oppressed” in a small, tiny town where the population is less than 8k. I live in a city with about 300k people.

1 Like

I wanted to be a big time actor and model. Have the looks and Charisma to back it up. I was even set to go to LA to make my dream happen and was doing really good at it. Was booking a lot of roles and modeling gigs but I lost my mind before I left. I think I can still do it but am scared of losing the stability I’ve worked so hard to attain. Plus I’m very scared of relapsing and know how long of a road it is to climb. I already relapsed once and it was hell to go through. I was also studying to get my bachelors of science in Chemistry and doing very good until I lost my mind and started failing classes and eventually dropped out. I just try to take it one day at a time and working on trying to be a millionaire by 40.

1 Like

Unless it’s sweet dreams

Finance is anything but easy, unless you mean accounting. Investment bankers works at least 80 hours a week. They have in depth technical knowledge of accounting, finance, valuation and law. It’s why they lead the transactions even when there are accountants and lawyers involved. They are the ones who advise CEOs and senior executives on mergers and acquisitions, etc. The ability to work with others and manage relationships at that level takes an immense amount of interpersonal skills also. Valuation is more of an art than science, even though there is so much theory for it. The situations facing large corporations are ever changing and being able to point the company in the right strategic direction takes an immense amount of ability. There is a reason why they make more money than even doctors.


You’re not going to convince me finance is hard. I know some people who are very very smart that love finance. But I think finance is 10x easier than math.

It doesn’t really matter. A lot of people make more money than doctors. Doesnt necessarily equate to intelligence at all.

Have you actually studied and worked in finance before making your comment? Your statement about a lot of people making more money than doctors is also false.

I took finance courses in college. Other business classes too. Super easy. I was an econ major that switched to math for the challenge. Try taking a math class. Have you taken real analysis, number theory, or abstract algebra? Doubt it. I dropped out because I got schizophrenia. Wanted to work on wall street myself.

You’re just a financial analyst right iirc? Good luck being a lawyer someday…

A lot of people do make more than doctors. My step dad did for years as an electrical engineer and business owner. Way more than most lawyers make.

Enjoy the poor job market, low wages, and massive debt involved in law school. A lot of kids grow up thinking they’ll be a lawyer. It ain’t that impressive.

lol no idea where the hostility come from. I make a lot more money than you will ever do with your life. You can keep dreaming about being a doctor or whatever. The fact you state a lot of people make more money than doctors show how stupid you are. Idiot.

1 Like

Your just another wannabe finance guy who thinks he’s smart and made it big. Who is the idiot now lol?

I am now 100% certain you are jealous of my success. Take a good look at what you wrote in this post. You said you lost 20+ IQ points. You are not smart enough to be anything. You are scared, nervous, fearful all the time. With your pathetic attitude and incoherent arguments, good luck recovering from schizophrenia.

1 Like