Seems like I'm not enough

Dr said to cut back on the Olanzapine 5 mg afternoon to 2.5. Add 5 mg Haldol twice a day

June 28th 10 30 PM

Can’t seem to understand why I show my insanity too fast, I have that affect on people a lot of the times. All they see is this plainly dressed person, who is dull and has a boring life and wouldn’t suspect nothing wrong with them, but once they take a look into my eyes they see this chaotic mess someone who isn’t capable of making decisions and has been on more than one occasion considered severely disabled, I don’t see the point of keeping up with my medicine if this is what being self aware is and the fear I give everyone outside of this forum because of my erratic behavior and my scars… What’s the point, Dr is just messing with my meds, not like I care to take them anymore. If this is me, truly me why hide it? If the person I really care for is scared of me because of my erratic behavior what’s the point, just to lay in bed catatonic half the time? No just no dude.

Kind of depressed feeling… Might talk to my care team about this. Anyway thanks for listening to my whining.

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Going off your meds is likely to cause other problems. I don’t think that’s the solution to the problems in your life.

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Yeah, you’re right, it’s a bad idea. I think some daily habits and life style changes could help. Just had to get all this out there.

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Hope you get to feeling better.

Hopefully your body adapts to the medication.

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Thank you… I just need to get over thus slump…

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Do you at least have a therapist to work through this with? Going off meds will just make you worse.

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I do. I’m going to mention this to her here in a couple of days, hopefully I can get somewhere. Yeah I’m not, I think that statement was too drastic and dramatic I was just in a bad place.

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That’s good you can talk to her. Good luck. I hope she’s helpful

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That’s ok, sometimes it feels good just to blurt it all out. All that bottled up crap that’s running around in your head feels better when it comes out. So don’t worry. Hopefully you’re feeling better now.

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Thank you! I’m feeling a lot better. It does feel a lot better I’m glad I can count on you all

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