Secret torture

Unusual Beliefs
1

It’s torture.

and it’s secret.

It’s my disease.

Help?

No?

It’s invisible.

It’s torture.

This has nothing to do with anything at all.

I’ve tried to think of why someone would do this but it just has nothing to do with anything.

I thought “well, maybe i deserved it”, nope thats not it. Who in the hell pays two thousand dollars for a loaf of bread right? Not to mention it is in some other form that has nothing to do with buying a loaf, to much, to long, and in strange ways that make no sense.

Ok so i got past that, didn’t deserve it.

I thought experimentation? Nope, wasn’t it. What they have done doesn’t denote experimentation. They know the future like it was a script, can cause nde’s or very real waking dream states in which they are present, they can go forever to and they do. They are like an evil energizer bunny.

It’s clear after all other options are crossed out. Psychopathy. Just because they wanted to and can and like it.

It’s torture. Ill just be talking to family and they’ll be in my head showing me getting my head cut off or something like that. Ill lay down to sleep and they’ll whisper “we’ll snap your back in half”. One night i woke up and it felt as though i was facing an awful death, in my feelings it was the worst fear and anxiety one could feel as if i were facing such a nightmare it can’t be explained.

It’s torture.

It’s secret.

It’s invisible.

They keep showing me the times. 3 like in emily rose, 333 like in the fourth kind. It really is insanity but it’s not what makes me insane because it’s just torture.

And what that guy in jail get’s euthanasia? He raped and murdered and they helped him go to sleep, and that was only after being in jail awhile. That sounds blanking awesome for blank’s sake.

Who cares if we live again as long as i get out of here, heaven or hell i just need out of here, to me earth is hell and for so many others it’s the same.

The bags under my eyes have grown so big, the sickened worried look in my eye is prominent, and im just drained completely, there is no joy left. The pills are harming me as well, they are also torture but if i don’t take them then it’s even more torture.

Let me die. Let me sleep. Legalize euthanasia for people like me, please, i really need it and im perfectly capable of making this desicion.

It’s torture.

It’s invisible.

It’s secret.

2

do you have a phyciatrist do you have a way you could go to the doctor? hate to see you suffering my friend reach out for some help if you can tcx

3

Hello Pan

For sleep use Melatonin they will sleep along with you.

Will you let me talk to them through this forum or speak to me through private.

1 Like
4

Hey pan I got an idea. I think you need to take a crap load of meds. If you were on like 25 mg of risperdal (or equivalent) and like also took 1mg of xanax three times a day. That would knock anyone out. That’d probably knock a horse out. Then maybe you’ll be able to get some sleep until a better time in your life. You might wanna ask your doctor about that. idk what else to say homes…

5

That’s the same type of dreams my partner has and she’s normal.

I think a lot of people are dreaming with their eyes open.

We had a family friend get angry with the family saying they had done all sorts of horrible things to him during a week they hadn’t seen him.

Old friends that pop up in my dreams are not very friendly either. The dream world tries to chase us out so that we don’t go brain dead in our sleep but like I said - It looks like some people zone into the dream world not realizing it.

6

i’m so sorry you’re enduring this right now.

i can relate to a number of things you wrote (though the things that come for me ARE doing experiments, but they seem more impartial toward me, like they would any lab monkey).

i hear you on wanting a way out and i hope you are able to find peace in this world. i don’t know that meds are the answer, but i don’t know that they’re not. i just wanted to say that i’m listening, or reading, rather. as you’re writing. best to you

7

thanks to you for this expression, it is exactly what I had experienced when I was in a horrible relapse two years ago. The dreams were both terrifying and endless, always death, death, death, killing, killing, killing like a star war. But an increase of meds stopped the dreaming and gave me peaceful sleep. The dose was 125mg Invega injection once a day (about 18mg Invega tablet). It worked wonder for me though gave me restlessness. two weeks later my pdoc reduced the dose to 75 mg. This is my experience. I hope pans would know how much meds he needs to take.

8

You’re welcome, Green.

There’s a science behind all of this - I am pretty sure.
I’ve been studying my thoughts my whole life

I’m not sure why this all is - Unless we’re MEANT to be studying all of this (as someone once told me)
A virtual school where students live a lifetime as a patient with issues they may be assigned to treating.

Or I could be a patient just backwards engineering.

Or…maybe this is…well…‘Life as we know it’ but for some of us we wind up accidentally toppling over props along the way.

Either way most dreams I’ve had seemed to designed to scare me awake: Look up “Sleep Paralysis” dreams.

I mean - If you’re dreaming with your eyes open I can totally see where the brain might panic and lay it on you thick to snap too.