There was a woman with a baby outside the grocery store today. I bought her some diapers and wipes. When I went back to give them to her this old woman was yelling at her about why does she need money blah blah blah, just being really mean. So I tell her to ■■■■ off with her nasty self and try to talk to the woman as long as I could but she didn’t really speak English. But this old woman was still there just waiting for me to leave. I didn’t know what else to do at the time so I sheepishly walked away feeling awful I couldn’t do more. Then when I told my husband he said I should have just stood there until the old lady left. I wish I would have. I’m kicking myself now for walking away knowing that mean old woman probably was just going to start back in as soon as I left. I feel so guilty.
To be honest I still don’t understand why my room being a mess upsets my mom. No one ever goes in my room. My room isn’t open to the public, it’s not a communal space, when people come in the house they don’t see my room. Also to me my room isn’t a mess it’s convenient. Everything I use regularly is right near me and already out. I have a million other things to do every day and putting things in my room away when that set up is actually less convenient and practical for me and is solely for aesthetic purposes is at the abyssal bottom of my personal list. However since I respect my mom’s feelings and appreciate her letting me live in her house I do clean it now on a regular basis. As a kid of course I didn’t have that degree of mindfulness
I can completely understand being upset with messes in communal spaces though. It is hugely rude to not clean up after yourself. Even in public places drives me nuts when I’m at Starbucks or something and see a table loaded w napkins and trash.
My siblings can be unbelieveable sometimes. The other day I walked in the pantry and found a jar of peanut butter just sitting open in the pantry on the floor and a jar of jelly which was supposed to be in the fridge next to it. Found my little sister eating a mix of pb and j with a spoon out of a cup. I told her to clean up after herself and she literally just had to put the lid back on the peanut butter, set it on the shelf, and put the jelly in the fridge, that was it. I had to go somewhere and when I got back like hours later my mom was mad because someone left the pb and j out. Like dang. That’s not just a mess in a communal area that’s also wasting public food. My younger brother will take whole cartons of family eggnogg from our fridge, drink straight from the bottle, and then leave like half the carton full in his room overnight so it spoils and no one else can have any. I can’t even comprehend how awful that is. Hrrrrng
Yum! I want bread sticks!
You did a kind thing in helping that woman out, don’t feel guilty! Even if she did get roasted by that mean old lady I’m sure it was more important to her in the end that she had those supplies for her baby
I hope you’re right. I just feel bad I didn’t stick up for her more. She’s got it hard enough without mean old ladies criticizing her and being awful to her for being in an already awful situation. You know?
Can’t get my dream out of my head from last night because it was so vivid and bizarre. I was back in college and heading home for the day and had to travel to a weird distant bus stop because the others were all super crowded. On an isolated road a man came out of nowhere towards me and I knew he meant trouble, I threatened to call the police and he said “go ahead, it never helps anyone anyways” as though he’d been through this numerous times. I freaked and ran away, and got away too easily like he wasn’t even trying to catch me.
At the bus stop I met up w my friend but the bus was running late so I took a bath bc there was a bathtub conveniently at the bus stop w curtains around it for privacy. I saw the shadow of the man who had come after me appear on the back curtain & panicked. He opened it, and turned into a naked girl and climbed into the tub with me. He-now-she then started telling me very strange and confusing things, like arcane things about existence and whatnot. I didn’t understand any of it and it went in one ear and out the other. During this I started drooling blood uncontrollably and it turned the bathwater red. I tried to tell my friend what was going on but she was as confused as me. I ended up drooling a huge amount of blood in front of her and she was so grossed out she threw up.
What the heck.
I’m two weeks smoke-free now, doing ok with it.
thinking about getting a little fire place in my living room, i got some space now that the table is gone
I saw you wrote you were having a panic attack, are you feeling any better now?
What’s going on?
So apparently the word for the kind of hunger I sometimes feel, directly translates to ‘wolf hunger’.
You know, that feeling of being desperately hungry that food can’t really satisfy.
MId April and were under a heavy snow fall warning, when will winter end???
Do you have bizzare dreams normally? I had bizzare dreams all of the time, less often now, but they aren’t always scary so I’m grateful for that. Odd. You’re really good at remembering your dreams.
A pocket friend posted some photos of the snow storm yesterday and she’s completely snowed in because of drafts against her door. It was ridiculous. So glad I moved away from the Midwest.
What is a pocket friend?
You. You’re my pocket friend because my only contact with you is through the phone in my pocket.
I am going to play some Goat Simulator
Kidneys/stomach, back and bladder hurting almost every day now. Feet going numb at night and I get really itchy. Got a rash too.
I don’t know if I have the words for how I feel some days. Just … not good.
Like, if someone said they could help I’d just be like, “Nope.”
“But you will die.”
“Doesn’t matter at this point.”
I’d rather just… die and hope everyone stops wtf they’re doing around here… and think.
I wanna go to sleep, but it’s only 8pm and I should be doing homework.
I’m getting sick of all the "should be"s.
That feel when your allergies are bad, but you don’t have better allergy medicine, so you just take a double dose of generic dollar store Benadryl tablets.