I don’t know how things got so bad. I am working on getting better. I am trying to figure out what medication I am supposed to take. I might try the Amen Clinic. They offer advanced brain scans, although it might be a scam. Someone on FB recommended it to me. I do want to have an accurate diagnosis or idea of what I need. I have been taking Abilify–the new TV generic kind. After I take it, I start getting tired and sad. I became dormant, numb, dysphoric. So I smoked weed to combat the effect of anti-pscyhotics, and it worked. I recovered or so I thought. But now I’m on Vyvanse, a stimulant, and I am quitting smoking pot because it is counter-intuitive. I am still on Abilify, but I am experiencing paranoia. I have been having severe paranoia on and off Abilify after that arrest where I was refused Abilify in jail even after my dad brought it in. My cellmate said that they were not supposed to refuse people vital medication like that. Good news: however, my charges have been formally dropped and the dismissal was signed by the judge, prosecutor and my attorney. They had no evidence against me either. It was an accusation that was proven to be baseless as far as I know.
But my dad said, I can’t smoke weed–I have to not smoke or talk to people who engage in smoking. If it was legal, there’d be no issue. I would be prescribed it. It does help me, with anxiety and depression–unlike Abilify, but does not help with psychosis and possibly is counter-intuitive. I was put on Paxil, and Buspar. And I don’t want to take those and that’s when I decided to stop taking all the medication, about a month ago prior to going back on them. I went to the ER and told them I had stopped the medication and the reasons. I was given a temporary script for Vyvanse so I would not crash badly, as I ran out 7 days before my appointment, I have been always taking it exactly as prescribed once a day in the morning usually as soon as I wake up. If I don’t take it, I sleep all day. That seems to be a problem.
So the stress, the new medications, everything has just become very overwhelming and my paranoia is coming back, in random flashes. What should I do? My dad knows of my problem, and he tells me to stop. I am compulsive, and I do not know what will help. Does that mean I am actually depressed, and my doctor was right and that is why I should fill Paxil? Or will Paxil make me manic and sick again, in combination with Vyvanse Abilify and Buspar. Does anyone understand how confused it all made me?
I apologies regardless, I haven’t been myself lately.