Schizophrenia.com

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Hello Friends & Strangers … ,

Thus Thread Shall Be A Thread For You (if you need to) To Vent … ,

I Invite Anyone Within Tha Community To Join in On Personal Advice To Anyone With Tha Nerve To Let Loose On PERSONAL Problems … ,

Including Voices / Delusions / Health n Fitness / & / N E Thing Else On Your Mynde … ,

So Before We PERHAPS Get Started , Jus Know That , We Are Naught Doctors OR Nurses and We All Even Those With Advice Are Going Throo OR Have Been Throo Enough , To Be Able To Add OR Subtract Advice On How To get Throo Some Difficult Darkness … ,

So Tha Choice Is Yours ,

Use and Mark Thus Thread ,

OR ,

Ignore It Completely …

So Please ,

Peace Be Unto You ,

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I’m actually doing quite alright right now. No venting needed. Thank you for the opportunity @sleepoptimistic.

Was just listening to this song… You might appreciate it. I’m assuming you know it.

“Your social guides… give you swollen eyes.”

I want to leave, to go somewhere where I should be really in my place, where I would fit in . . . but my place is nowhere; I am unwanted.
Jean-Paul Sartre, Nausea

Rant starts in 3, 2, 1

As a following but unusual post effect…I slept for seven hours which didn’t happened to me in years. Woke up about 6.am and couldn’t get out of bed. Physically, mentally, every way, ■■■■■■. So I just kept floating for another few hours. I figured out to ask on the forum but Notmoses was already sleeping so I thought that I’m just ready to die.
I would complained to God that in my last moment, nothing significant happened.
Firework or something.
Now i have that annoying sound …

And little Aylan boy is haunting me day and night. A victim of human ignorance.
Just shitty shitty feeling.
Sartre’s Nausea.

Oh…end of rant.

This happens to me every morning. I wake up at 4:30 and think, just in a bit I’ll be able to do it. Mornings when I have to be somewhere, most of the time I can eventually make myself get up, but mornings when I don’t, I drift for hours, sometimes thinking, all right now, now, NOW, but then it’s 7:00, 8:30, noon, and I haven’t moved. I’ll imagine myself pushing the covers back, swinging my legs to the floor, walking to the bathroom. I know I can do it, I know I’m going to in just a moment, but then another two hours pass and there I still am.

I think at first I thought maybe I should die, but it keeps going on and I keep living, so why die now?

A song lyric your rant brought to my mind, from Riches and Wonders by the Mountain Goats: and i want to go home. but i am home.

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Well…i guess I’m still homeless… :neutral_face:

I am holding on to two things… the past and the future… I have to let of one to fully embrace the other.

It’s a bit unnerving…

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me too my friend. I can overcome this :ok_hand: so can you.