My hallucinations are really bad. I am scared I will lose touch with reality. I have been having episodes where I’m not myself lately. I asked my husband not to send me to the hospital if I have a break but to get ahold of my pdoc instead. I’m scared it will get worse. I’m out of my APs. My pharmacy is out of stock of Saphris and won’t get any in for a few days. I’m not taking Vraylar anymore, but even if I were, I only have one pill left.
im great at learning math concepts. like really, i pick up pretty fast. then i immediately forget everything i learned. im so scared of college math class
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I am listening to this song. It is just too funny. Always gets stuck in my head.
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have to watch my niece for a while. okay. we pick them up and my brother needs a bandage or something because he spent the night carving up his arms. i find some cloth and a safety pin. his daughter smells and i notice immediately as they get in the car that they stink. we get here and i try to switch her into an old t shirt from her night gown and she starts crying. the night gown isnt really dirty, just kind smells like their trailer, so i rub some fabric softener sheets on it to fix that. her clothes to change in later smell putrid though, washing that ■■■■ before she puts it on. her hair is sticky and tangled, her feet are blackened with dirt. she cant decide what she wants to watch on tv–theres only three cartoons on and shes used to netflix which we dont have. she wants chocolate milk–we only have half a sippy cup of milk and no chocolate syrup, so i make her hot chocolate with a combo of milk and water. she is satisfied. the battle has been won. she is now informing me that her cartoon is going off. i go back to battle once more.
For crying out loud, call CPS! That is not okay! I know he’s your brother, but he is clearly incapable of taking care of his kids right now! Those kids have to be a higher priority for you than your loyalty to him.
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@korieve I really agree with @Ninjastar. That little girl deserve better and needs help. She can’t stand up for herself. Your brother will never even know that you were the one who called.
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Well, realistically, he will probably figure it out. I had to call on my brother, and he knew it was me, based on the process of elimination. But you have to do it anyways. Kids are defenseless against neglect, and they need stable home environments.
They probably won’t take away the kids, just make your bro take a class on parenting. But I don’t know the rules in your county.
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oh i absolutely have no loyalty to him (he abused me growing up so idgaf) but if i call them my family will absolutely rain hell down on me. shes only with him for like two days before going back to her mom (sadly the conditions there arent much better)
Two days is too long for a kid to live like that. And if cps is called, they always check both residences. You could make a huge, positive difference for her.
I’m in the process of becoming a certified foster parent, so I know how the system works in my county. Usually, they make a home visit, and either declare it a positive home environment, or give the parents notes on things that must be fixed before a certain date. The parents have that long to comply before further corrective action is taken. They only take the kids if they are in imminent danger. They might also revisit the custody agreement, if one parent is found to be fit, and the other isn’t.
ive wanted to do it and encouraged my mom to do so too but im very scared to do so because a. like i said there would be major retribution from my family for doing it as in i may not have a home type retribution, b. my brother is very very violent and unstable and im actually scared he may murder me if i report him, im not exaggerating at all there hes threatened very seriously to murder the mom of the kid. the mom isnt much better, her boyfriend sells drugs and they live in filth. im also genuinely scared of her boyfriend because hes violent too. i really really want to but it would have to be in a way that i absolutely cannot be identified. and my family couldnt know. i guess im also slightly cynical about the cps around here because my drug addict cousin who would wallop her kids in the face and lived in filth had her kids taken twice and nothing changed yet they gave them back to her and she still uses. i dont know if it varies based on area but it seems really shoddy here. i probably shouldnt even talk about it but im so desensitized to it and dont really know what to do because im scared
I’m sorry. Maybe if you wait a few days before calling, they won’t realize it was you. The kid probably sees loads of different babysitters, so they wouldn’t know who placed the call. If your brother and her boyfriend are that violent, the kid is obviously not safe with them. Make sure when you call, you explain how violent they are. Do you know of any safe places you could go if they did know it was you?
i dont know a lot about the boyfriend other than that he sells drugs, is violent and abuses the mom. my brother i know good and well and yeah hes very violent and he doesnt beat his kids but he yells a lot and i know how much that can ■■■■ kids up to be constantly in a volatile environment. i see my therapist tomorrow and i may ask her to help me report it or something, ive talked briefly about my family situation before and i feel like she could help me reach out in the absence of a family member who could help me since none of them seem willing and are all desensitized to it/wont do it for fear of not being able to see her anymore/“hes family” ■■■■■■■■
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Good ide? Give your therapist all the details. They are legally obligated to report child abuse to the state. That way, you didn’t do anything that can be traced back to you, and the kids still get help.
also concerning is that his girlfriend is pregnant right now and im pretty sure shes still using. im not worried about my nephew because his mom is actually decent and works and doesnt neglect him but im worried about my niece and this incoming baby. like i wish i could preemptively have it taken from her before its even born because she is not a good person
I’m sorry, but no matter the reasons against it, it just seems wrong not to report this.
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If the mother is using, the child will be very sick when they’re born, and end up in the nicu. They will test positive for drugs, and at that point, will be taken away from the mother. If the law works like it does in my state.
These days I hate myself, failing on any exam makes me feel anger towards me.
I want to cry and a lot. But I can’t 
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Yesterday in group we were talking about Bipolar Disorder and Depression. I had been feeling kind of down since the night before. I had bought Final Fantasy X HD remaster for my PS Vita to cheer up. It was on sale for $16.00 with tax. They were talking about how to help someone with depression. I thought about how I basically have almost no one, no partner, unlike almost everyone else I see. I think I came close to crying a little right there. I couldn’t talk for a few minutes for fear of that happening.
I think I feel a little better today, even though the damn dogs woke me up an hour early and I basically got 6 and a half hours of sleep. My stomach is kind of in knots, probably partially due to my new psoriasis medication.
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I’m sorry Lenny. 
You will get future chances. A lot of people with these types of diseases can’t even attempt this kind of thing.
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