I’m excited for tonight’s concert. 
I’m not going to bring a whole lot of money with me, to keep me from spending too much. I’ll probably bring around $60, enough for admission ($12), a couple bottles of water (probably $4 or $5 each), and a couple cd’s. I definitely want to buy AKC’s (A Killer’s Confession, the headliner) cd, if no others. There probably will be at least one or two opening acts who I will like enough to want to buy their cd.
quick update. my homestead is looking unlikely. dad wants to put in a barn for his toys (boats,truck, tractor) and he says he just wants grass to mow. I tried to explain that roses can bring in 25,000 per acre but he was having none of it.
also I really don’t like the culture of the place I’m at. I’m thinking about moving back to my hometown or Athens, Georgia haven’t decided yet. just a matter of what I can afford, the real estate market is similarly priced.
day 1 one of being home alone, 10 long days by myself. I guess it has its good things, but it also has its stressers. I went down and filled the bird-feeder, but I had something fall on my head, which I think was a bug of some kind. I wiped it out, but ever since I keep feeling/seeing bugs everywhere. Need to distract myself. I came back upstairs to my room. Anxiety is very high though.
I am going to look at a house to buy tomorrow. It’s a little smaller than our rental but it’s newer and has a big tub so the wife likes it.
Feeling depressed and anxious. I absolutely hate the situation I’m in with the me wanting to become a nurse but at the same time fearing repercussions if I don’t report my illness but also fearing repercussions if I do and then stressing out about having to apply to a different school thus starting school later than I intended and having to move out to a strange state alone, probably having to get a full time job to support myself and then having to do that full time job while in nursing school whereas before I could’ve lived at home and had no job but I would feel awful making my parents pay for an apartment.
So many things are just garbage right now. So many things. It’s no wonder I’m not keeping up with my health. I’ve been stress eating like crazy and barely even trying to fight off the demons.
Today I have been oscillating between feeling empty and feeling immense pain. I’ve continually paced or walked around the house because I don’t know what to do with myself. I have no energy to enjoy much of anything right now. I haven’t even wasted the day browsing reddit or really any site. I don’t know how to handle being alone. I’ve never been able to handle it.
I just ordered my favorite blues album on vinyl 
.
It’s really hard to find and was really expensive for a new record.
And I had to borrow a little to be able to afford it.
But it’s worth it! 
Upstairs neighbors yelling at me when I was going to my dad’s. When are they going to leave me alone?
Too cool @Montezuma I love vinyl. If I could afford it I’d get an audio-technic direct drive turntable. Enjoy your Blues.
On a side note. I’m tired and down today. Need to find something stimulating to do.
Thank you @ThePickinSkunk ! 
Sorry to hear you’re feeling down.
Is the library open today in your location? Maybe a walk there, or to a bookstore or music shop might stimulate ya.
We just got rain yesterday and now it’s humid. I’m gonna grab my hydration pack and go look for mushrooms. Good conditions for them.
The only thing that is keeping me going these days is old songs.
Face it, I love Love.
The bridge is talking to me. My depression is worsening. I’m trying to give Prozac a chance to kick in.
Please stay safe @roxanna.
And remember, inanimate objects like bridges can’t talk to us.
((Hugs)) - Monte
My Forearms and Calves workout was good. I can lift about as much in the calf raise as when my calves were much bigger. They look kind of tiny now, but I guess the difference was mainly fat/water.
my new shirt came in the mail and im anxiously waiting for my hair to dry so i can dress up and take pictures in it lol
I’m gonna be okay I took a walk to clear my mind. The bridge has left my mind. I got an earlier appointment for June 26th. I’m trying my best to keep going. Maybe I can help someone here. I feel like I’m just talking about my dumb self.
