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Thank you. I cried twice in an hour. I hope he leaves me in peace now. I feel like he was intentionally twisting a salty knife into my wound and then just twisting it violently. I’ve been trying to drown out my thoughts and these damn flashbacks but it’s not working well. If I go lay down and try to sleep, it’ll just be me and my thoughts.
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He’s messed up. Threatening suicide then asking for dating tips. That’s all kinds of wrong.
(((hugs))) 
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Good morning everyone.
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Here its 3 a clock, day time
The sun is shining and we have a heatwave for the next 7 days at least.
Well, if nothing else, it’ll give me a nice tan 
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I’m tired but keep hearing things. Not sure what’s real. They’re only giving me 5mg oral haldol at night for some reason. I asked for more but haven’t heard back yet. That was like 6 hours ago.
Waiting on nuclear medicine to inject me with radioactive something so they can get pictures of my heart. Hopefully everything is fine and I can go home as soon as they get those results.
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I don’t feel like going anywhere today, certainly don’t want to make that long commute, so sick of driving. I’m trying to motivate myself, also trying to keep in mind that I have a long weekend coming to me, with Monday being Memorial Day. Ugh, so sick of driving.
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Experience results in the best learnt knowledge. Maybe obvious to some, but to me I used to try to read too much, now I just live my life and know knowledge will come from experience
I’m excited for the concert tomorrow night, should be fun. Doors open at 7, and the show runs until 2am. Hopefully there will be some good opening acts. It will be me, my best bud, who I haven’t gotten to hang with much lately, and two other guys from the foundry.
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I got to sleep in until 9:30 ish today. Feel great. I’ve been staying up nights chatting with a friend. Sometimes several. So I think this has greatly contributed to not always feeling so good.
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I just had pears, in the US, that were grown in South Africa and packaged in Thailand.
My food has a more exciting life than I do.
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Today is my dad’s birthday; he would have been 74 today. RIP. It’s hard to believe it’s been nearly five years since he passed (heart attack).
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I’m going to start being more positive.
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today my dad said. if you’re content to just collect social security and not work then you need to move out.
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People can be shitty about not understanding that mental illness can be as (or more) disabling than physical illness. Sometimes I wish such people could experience it for six months to a year.
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Doctors or psychiatrists in the 50s used to take LSD inside mental institutions because LSD temporarily induces schizophrenia even in the healthy mind.
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I’m finally awake but my sleep quality was garbage. I feel just as tired as when I went to sleep since I had an unsettling dream I can barely remember. Hopefully today will be better and more peaceful.
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I guess they used it to try to help alcoholics, too and apparently it sometimes helped.
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I got the results back from my sleep study and apparently I still have severe sleep apnea. This sucks. The machine produces huge amounts of heat. I couldn’t easily get quality sleep away from home.
Hopefully the oral meds for my psoriasis (Acitrentin) will be approved by my insurance. I’m tired of wasting 30+ minutes per day applying topical meds that don’t quite clear me up. If I got a job that would make things difficult. I’d barely have time to get home, eat, and work out, on days I’d work, let alone that.