I think iāll take my med now and try to sleep. I havenāt been forgetting, sometimes I take it earlier to try to sleep. I end up feeling a little more sedated when I do. It is 3:37 here so I should try to get some rest. Go Aston Villa! 
Still canāt sleep. Sometimes I feel bad that being psychotic fried my brain. I wonder if the loss in gray matter is part of the reason delusions sometimes remain.
I feel okay since I got a few hours of sleep. 4 hours til class. Donāt know what to do.
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I just woke up, after getting a 8 hour sleep, and I feel pretty good.
good luck in school!
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Every single time 
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Woke up early this morning. My sleep has been off lately. Taking longer to fall asleep, waking up a lot during the night and today I am up super early. Hope itās not indicative of depression working its way back in on me. That, coupled with how Iāve been feeling lately, makes me think it is.
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Yeah, thatās true. However, iām sza bipolar type and I spend a lot of time in depression. Much more than mania. I will just have to see how it plays out. I take a mood stabilizer, Lamictal, that is good for depression. Maybe it will help me not to go too far over the edge this time. It helped bring me out last time I was depressed, so thereās that.
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Iām really frustrated about my medicine situation. I agreed to let my friend have my card and control my economy because I found it overwhelming, but Iām out of meds and Iāve told him this, but he refuses to give me my card so I can get more. He said heād do it for me, but he gets super pissy whenever I ask him about it, and he even told me that if I ask one more time, Iām not getting my meds at all.
I donāt think he realises how important it is to me to have my meds. And I just got out of the hospital too.
This situation really stresses my out. If he havenāt given me my meds by my birthday on tuesday, Iām going to tell him I wonāt see him until I get them.
Well, Iām at the library hanging out before class. Hopefully I have enough change for a soda.
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My CPN told me that I should be getting a number for therapy at one of our last appointments. I think I might have to go at some point, although I am a bit nervous as I have never been before.
This guy doesnāt sound like much of a friend. What happens if he decides you donāt get your meds? You just donāt get them?
I guess 15151515
It is similar to my partner. I feel stable in my moods without meds. But she kind of force me to take them(meds). We genuinely share our possessions and finances. EVERYDAY is a challenge of trust.
Thatās not a very healthy relationship. Is there any other way you could go about this? Is it a matter of not handling your money well? Is there anybody else who could help you?
Edit: I just read your other thread. I would definitely revoke this guyās authority over you. He doesnāt seem like somebody who should be in charge of something as serious as your meds.
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I came home early because I was falling asleep in class. I thought I had slept enough?? Body, you make no sense.
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I have a huge pile of crap on my desk. Old mail, notebooks, all sorts of stuff. Last night i looked at it and decided i would deal with it today. Now i donāt feel like doing it though. Maybe tomorrow.
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Well Iām back from going to the military āyardā sale. Just bought a book about the Yamato and Musashi Japanese battleship and came with 3 posters for 20 euros. Saw an original RAF flying headgear for around 600. But I only had 350. Maybe later this year when they do it again I might go back there and buy it next time. It looked so dang cool too. Oh well. Iām working on my next uniform for my collection and twitch streaming. Itās gunna be WW2 Japanese pilot uniform/gear 
Oh and also went to a bundeswehr (modern German army) museum. It was pretty big and only costed 3 Euros per person. It had naval guns, experimental tanks, Mig 21, and mig 23 and some other planes. So many guns and artillery guns. Was pretty cool. Was in Koblenz
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