My head is aching. Stress can do that
I managed to relax and play video games for a while. 
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Last night I took double my prescription of hydroxyzine to self medicate and it is coming back to haunt me. I’ve been blanking out all day. Instead of exercising more, I’m going to get an early shower and binge watch anime and journal.
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I’ve asked. And no real proof, just stuff I’ve heard, and she can always say it was a hallucination.
Aaaaand now I’m sad because of dysphoria.
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Procrastinating homework. I hate it. I’m so close to being done with the semester but I just can’t focus on anything right now. I ran out of one of my antipsychotics and had to take 2 400mg pills instead of 1 300mg and 1 400mg. I’ve been a zombie all week and I just can’t focus. I got my meds refilled so I’m ok now but I’m still feeling super slow. Really stressful. Just needed to vent.
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Thomas, I know what you mean. When I was in college, I was so much like a sponge… I could absorb, and then regurgitate info. Now, though, I don’t think I could do it. Kudos to you. You’re doing great. You’re almost there. Don’t quit!
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Thank you. I appreciate it.
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Alalalala bamba i had a cucumber i threw it at your mama…
La Bamba was one of the first songs I learned to play on the guitar hah. It does have a few funny lines that are sometimes sang but usually not in the radio versions. One such is, “To be your brother-in-law, to be your brother-in-law, I need you to give me your sister, I need you to give me your sister, the prettiest one. Baila baamba.” It also has another line, “To dance la bamba, to dance la bamba, a little apathy is needed, a little apathy is needed, to dance la bamba.”
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First song i learnt to play on the guitar was house of the rising sun when i was a kid.
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Good song. I know that one as well. I was just listening to it a few minutes ago.
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I was just reading the news. It can be heavy on the mind.
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Its near 4am here woke up hour ago from dream I don’t remember, cbd weed takes care of bad and good dreams for me protects me from them
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Good morning people!!
It’s 6 am. I am getting ready to leave to the gym. I will walk 45 minutes, do weight lifting then come back home.
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I almost forget my mental illness. I feel bad for what happened in New Zealand and even Brazil. I also saw the roughly 100 to 1 ratio at which casualties from the war of Iraq and Syria earned someone a star on the shoulder. It is wild that star also is a reminder of how many of their soldiers died. Then on the other side, it is stunning to know that over 400,000 people have died collectively, maybe more. Then I saw Mexico is on a list of war torn countries. A disheartening to say the least. I think there is a sort of empathy that makes one forget about their own problems for a moment. The loss of life saddens me. I feel more human than sick. A moment ago I was thinking about alien life observing us and artificial intelligence being self aware. Then I thought about unobserved forces, read about gravity thinking to myself that it isn’t unobserved but still wondering there must be. After reading the news I feel bad for the relatives of those lost.
Great now i’m thinking about how similar thoughts occur between large groups of strangers. I know someone else in the world must feel horrible about facing those facts. I’ve lost a few friends in bad ways. It is horrible that it happens in the world. There are over 7 billion people in the world and war would suggest over a couple million people killed in the last 10 years collectively. Thank goodness a world war has not erupted again. I also wonder how efficiently some countries kill in comparison to others and how some deal with it throughout the year. It’s a bad thought.
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I wish I had the motivation to exercise. I’ve already received offers to sell my treadmill apart from it having become a glorified coat hanger. So much for doing it daily.
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I sometimes smoke weed but I’ve been trying to drastically cut back on it. Before it would help me sleep.
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That sounds like a good time. I’m going to walk around my neighbourhood today get some sunshine 
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I still have the delusion of alien life and artificial intelligence. Secretly I really believe both are real. It just seems so plausible to me. I don’t know if it’s unhealthy to think about those things. I normally don’t give them much thought. Maybe my mind wants to find an explanation for the madness.