It is 3:00 pm! About to leave on a walk.
I folded 2 loads of laundry and tidied up. Vaccumed. Feeling hungry but Iāll eat at night instead.
I have akathesia and blurred vision.
Did some Shoulders/Abs today. Got over 2 minutes in the plank, but my posture sagged a little at the shoulders for the last 10-20 seconds.
Thereās a music appreciation festival with outdoor concerts here I think on the 25. I thought about going to meet people. But I generally donāt like most pop/rock music. As far as women, odds are less than 1/10 that itās someone that would tolerate my not working. Generally you hope for 1/4 odds when someone is equal to you in socioeconomic status. These are terrible odds, combined.
As far as male friends, from my experience from Church it seems that even with platonic relationships people tend to look down on and reject men that donāt work.
Also I really really donāt like most normal music.
Thereās Group tomorrow. Maybe I can bring myself to talk to somebody in the waiting room. I feel much better about my chances there. Since they only take public insurance, everybody they is at least in a situation where they qualify for public insurance.
Iāll likely get to see my one friend form group, regardless.
I donāt know if group or therapy is getting me any closer to conquering my shyness.
I think the weird buzzing feeling in my head and dizziness is partially the result of blood pressure, maybe more than sinus infection.
I checked it and it was something like 145/85.
Iām going to try to make sure I get 8.5 hours of sleep or more and see if that helps. If I need more than that, itās going to be terrible trying to balance sleep/working out/eating/topical psoriasis meds on the days I work. If I can even do that at all.
Shania has aged well. Her cheekbones look better than before, like Brittany.
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My husband was laid off work and had no prospective jobs when we met.
I enjoyed his personality so much it didnāt matter much.
Youāre letting this āno jobā thing get you down before anyone even gets a chance to meet you and judge for themselves.
Sure, dating is full of rejection, but you only need to meet that special lady the one time.
Donāt be discouraged,
Get out there and go to the festival.
Even if you donāt meet anyone, itāll be great people watching!
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Thing is if they ask what my last job was, the best I can do is try to bs that the 4 months I spent at Goodwill that was just to accustom me to work, over 10 years ago was a real job, and recent. Iād have to be an expert B.S.er and Iām not even a novice.
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Can you do occasional volunteer work?
Just something to say you do?
Like at an animal shelter or thrift store,
It doesnāt have to be often, just enough so that youāll feel like you contribute more and will have something to say when people ask what you do.
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I want to try that soon, but Iāve been getting stuff where my head has a buzzing feeling and I feel so dizzy and disoriented I can barely communicate back and forth when when itās happening, as well as headaches.
Maybe I should try anyway. The worst that can happen is they say they donāt want me there, and theyād probably eventually take me back if I wanted to.
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Thereās nothing immoral about feeling anything. Thatās what I think. Itās actions that hurt people that are immoral.
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Thanks. I guess youāre right.
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Youāre very welcome.
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Its a start of a fresh new morning. A day closer to heaven. Ordered e cigarettes in an attempt to quit smoking. E cigarettes are 90% less harmful than the real ones. I saw a documentary about it.
I paid one of my credits off. In october i pay the other credit off and i am financially better. In November i save money for my partner to go to europe. I like her to experience it.
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The bubbles in my chocolate milk were just a mini triggerā¦ quite annoying.
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I found another house I want to look at but my realtor is at Disney World. They are asking a little too much for it but if I like the inside I may just make an offer.
It has a one car garage and a two car carport so it has a little man cave. And itās nice and modern so the wife will like it and itās got a pool so my pups will like it and has a decent sized yard. I think it even has a hot tub and thatās a plus for me.
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I opened my kitchen curtains, I always keep them closed, the sunlight came in and I could see all the places I missed cleaning 
, I have to clean a lot now.
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I am about to leave for a walk.
Having a tea.
Now I know why Iāve been feeling all strange and wanting to light a cigarette.
I quit Wellbutrin!
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My dinner is in the oven, shepherdās pie, looking forward to eating in less than half an hour. So good, and so simple to make. Cheap to make, too.
Iāve had an okay day; teaching went fine. We talked plants in lab; that was kinda lame (Iām a cell and anatomy/physiology guy, not a plant guy), but we got through it. All I did in lecture was give an exam, nice and easy there.
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i spent 80 bucks on a pair of shoes and theyre kinda big (i have to get a size bigger than i should because my feet are freakishly wide) bc they didnt have an extra wide fit option or anything like that, is there any way i can make them feel a tad tighter because i am absolutely going to wear these after spending that kind of money
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Could you just wad up some tissues, tissue paper, or paper towels and put it in the toe?
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Wassup homies 15151
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Have you told your psychiatrist? What did they say?