Schizophrenia.com

Say Anything XCIV 🤠

I’m in a strange place between worlds. On one hand I’m still getting a bit of voice and pressure, on the other hand I feel firmly where the healthy reality is.

I am only taking Daily Essential Nutrients and Ellis water. Drinking the water constantly. Making my brain feel lovely.

I need to be able to do normie stuff without fear of hallucinating.

I need my brain to feel 100% normal. Right now it is like 80%.

This is only day 4 of that water though.

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Those are pretty opposite types of music

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I spent $20 on teal capri leggins from Amazon. The pair I have i got at a thrift store a few years ago. Totally wearing out. I cant believe how much stuff teal leggings go with in my wardrobe .

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True. But both are seventies classics!! :smiley:

How are you feeling today, Jass?

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As well as can be expected. How about you?

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That’s good. I’m feeling fine. I just need to exercise today, but I feel so unmotivated.

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I know I should exercise too.

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decided not to go to my sisters. but i went to town, and had some leftover bbq. so im fed for the day. have my last pack of smokes. i have paid with quarters the last 3 days haha. tomorrow i will get some groceries when i get paid. i was tempted to get a 40 oz of king cobra, but remembered the headache from last time i tried one. i did have 1 leftover white claw though, a few minutes ago.

may help my niece move into her apartment tomorrow, not sure, they don’t really need me, and she doesn’t have a lot of stuff. dad is going to be there, and so is my brother. my brother flies back out for texas monday night. he will only be there until the end of august, when he is going to move back into his house in phoenix, arizona. amazon has been really accomadating to him allowing him to transfer jobs, they must like him. he said they broke their lease in dallas, because of their pot smoking neighbors and because all the amenities are closed with covid.

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My hallucinations have been making me giggle this morning to early afternoon. It’s a nice change of pace.

Last night they heckled me while I was doing dishes about how long I take to wash a single dish–how long it takes me to get it thoroughly clean, how violently and long I scrubbed some grease-covered electric pan handles because cold water and diluted dish soap weren’t cutting it.

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i dreamt about my first crush last night. brandy. she was on one of my youth baseball teams growing up, she was a year older than me. i asked her out when i was in the 4th or 5th grade, and she wasn’t interested. then in 7th grade, she started to like me and wanted to hangout but i was no longer interested, as i liked a different girl at that point. in my dream i pulled her close to me and asked her if she liked baseball. haha, what a silly dream.

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It’s so annoying trying to keep up the communication with people.

And of course society is dumbing down big time, so my friends barely even respond to a text message.

Everyone always says they’re busy. It’s like unless if you have twenty kids or are a prime minister you’re really not that busy.

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“Hey Dude” the old Nickelodeon show?

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thinking about moving again. dad embarrassed me in front of my sister yesterday. i was telling her that i was going to put in 7 peach trees and dad said “wait til the house is deeded to you before you do anything”. im thinking michigan right now, if i could live anywhere it would be northern california or colorado, but those states are expensive. i could potentially move to cali when im over 55 years old though and stay in a 55 and over community, or i could buy a trailer for 100k, but that seems a bit steep for a trailer. i could get a decent home or condo for 70k or less in michigan, in the city im looking at. i dont know about crime though, although im usually not too worried about crime, since i don’t get out much.

dad has been investing my rent money, and i will eventually buy a place or stay here. 60k to stay here, right now i have 20k in his account, he will most likely buy me a place with the money, which works great, because i can’t have more than 2 thousand dollars, to stay on medicaid, unless i set up a special needs trust or ABLE account to put my extra money in.

he was close to buying me a condo in michigan for 35k, but decided against it. so im going to be here at least another 2 years. but i may be able to move before i turn 40.

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Haha I faintly remember that show.

But Dude Shoes are an actual brand of shoes. They’re sort of like casual loafer sneakers.

last time i checked i had invested more money than i had made. i had actually lost $200 dollars because dad bought during the stock market boom before covid. then i lost a lot when the market tanked, and now it is about even. he has been investing in dividend reinvestment portfolios, or stocks that pay quarterly dividends, then with the dividends you make, you buy more stock with that. my losses don’t include dividend paid to him.

at one point i was up 3 or 4 thousand dollars about a year ago, gaining more than 10% on my money.

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to start off i paid him $3000 dollars in past rent in one check, then for a year or two i paid $200/mo, then i paid $500/mo for a year, and now i pay $600/mo, this is year 4 of paying rent i think. originally dad said, i would inherit the money, when he died, but now he is going to use it to buy me a place. so i get something out of the deal at least and a place to stay.

I’m sorry! That looks really painful. Hey, at least it wasn’t your femur or something like that.

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Thanks, it does really hurt. Today I woke up with new bruises that came up to the surface on my legs.

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I just got through doing a thirty minute workout on my bike. :blush:

@Kin, I hope you feel better asap. That looks pretty painful.

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Hey y’all, it’s just past 6:30 pm here, woke up half an hour ago. I was up all night, though, on that third shift schedule.

@Montezuma, good job on the workout!

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