Phone is like crap
Are there any positive things associated with schizophrenia or any other illness? What about conditions or symptoms that create positivity? All i hear is negative crap. I want to hear good things. Anyone else feel the same?
I think there isn’t so much good about schizophrenia but there is some good in being alive. Maybe I will fail my job but I will not give up on making money. Doing normal people things like exercising, working, and seeing friends make me many times happier than it used to. I feel like I’m winning against this illness even if I have not lived up to my parent’s expectations.
I’ve made it obvious I’m purposely trying to avoid her.
I just watched How The Beatles Changed The World with my Dad. I came in part way through and it seems like society is just an echo chamber since those days. If America was a person, it would be a victim of it’s own self fulfilling prophecy. At the same time though, I’m sure what was happening at the time was traumatic. Emotional trauma that lasted through the ages. Just wanted Peace & Love but the elder’s didn’t want that, so they killed anyone who fought for it, setting off the “hippies” into “revolution”, and killing it before it ever got started. But it did get started, and that lasts to today. Parents wanted to give their kids a better life than they had, so they worked hard and, at least for me, it was better than the stories my Dad gave me from when he was growing up. Now I’m an adult, and having to get used to the change of a lesser life is difficult. He wanted me to be a grown up since I was a child, and I have no quarrels with that. Once his second wife came into the equation, things became difficult. She probably has her own trauma from the yesteryears of peace and love. To her, peace & love = anger and rejection, and anger and rejection = peace and love. At least that was the message I was getting. Can’t ever be comfortable around her. But the same message carries through the generations. Each new generation is called lazy, weird, perverted, immoral, and each new generation is just trying to enjoy the life they have, have fun, and generally just feel good. It may just be those who lived through the trauma of MLK dying, the Kennedy’s being killed, and Vietnam the unpopular war. It may be too late to change things for my generation, Trump seems to be the Vietnam war of today. And I’m just sitting here like . Things have been called about North Korea, a cult of personality, that everyone is held hostage and can’t even kill yourself because they will kill your family, and those things that have been said about North Korea seem to be more befitting of the USA, maybe not in the literal sense, but in the metaphorical sense. But the American Dream of Peace & Love & Joy will never die, it just evolves.
Man this place sucks. Smells like something died in my kitchen somewhere, the lobby has had a leak for days, now MY windows are starting to leak. I think there might be some leaking in my bedroom wall as well.
Did I do something wrong? Why do I feel like no one is liking my posts or responding much to them?
Anyways I am worried about my job. I feel like they won’t fire me right away but I won’t get permanent employment. This is a government job so my parents really want me to get the benefits. I said I just care about the money and my mom laughed like I was caring about the wrong thing… Anyways I don’t indulge in negative thoughts. I will just do what I can with this job and move on. I will apply for an apprenticeship program linked to my treehouse degree later so keep focusing on my goals.
Can someone explain what I’m doing wrong? I just want to get advice and support for the things that are going on in my life but have I done anything wrong by posting about my job problems? I don’t know what is going on but I feel like I am being discouraged from posting about my life when everyone else does the same.
I think it’s just a slow Sunday night on the forum @tukey so there’s not as many people posting right now.
Try not to worry so much about your job. You’ll just stress yourself out.
Yeah maybe thanks. I wonder if it is me because my mom says I am unusually sensitive and high strung due to the job.
Is this your first job?
Not to be mean, but usually I start reading them and then skip over because they’re long and not broken up. It’s hard for me to focus and follow. It’s nothing to do with anything you’ve said or done, just how you’re saying it.
I am a little hyper today for some reason.
I should have made some chamomile tea but I made white tea which has caffeine. Not sure if I should drink it.
I have dreams like movies. I mean I could totally be a producer and just make movies out of my dreams. There is always a storyline and people, things I am doing, it was like watching a movie!
I agree. I always make an effort to read @tukey’s posts and I skip over most of the time.
There is a native american guy on my floor at the other end of the hallway and I saw him speaking with one of the middle eastern ladies. I never asked if he was native or belonged to a tribe but I asked if he could understand her (she only speaks in her mother language) and he was like yeah because he was stationed out there in the 80s. I knew he was a veteran but I didn’t know where he was stationed and I don’t ask certain questions so I don’t be rude.
I made a new dating profile. It’s a better site. Wish me luck.