I think I smoked 7 or 8 cigs yesterday. that’s a lot for me. I felt a little sick but nothing overwhelming. I just had to eat something. my folks were gone, so I took advantage of them being away.
I think im going to go sneak one now. was raining but its now stopped.
Hope you feel better.
The guy I’m living with is an ex who the one from FL threatened the job of just because when we were talking agian, the one I’m living with was getting more attention. So he’s really angry I kept letting back in this ■■■■■■■ emotionally, despite the fact that he can be very emotionally neglectful himself. It’s a toxic environment all around, but until I can get financial help, I can’t move out. 
Sucks for me. But the Vistaril is helping with taking the edge off of everything, so that’s nice.
I am late to therapy but this Lyft can’t go any faster. 
Shouldn’t have picked the carpooling option. I’m gonna be so late
I’m supposed to go on vacation this weekend but I don’t want to go.
Why not? Just think how much fun it will be. Where to?
Cool. yes I love to crochet. I’m make my grandma a blanket. How your shawl coming along?
It is almost done. I don’t think I have anymore of this yarn so I might give it to my little girl. It’ll be big for her.
How is your blanket coming?
To meet an old friend around the Mt Shasta area in California. We’re also stopping at Prehistoric Gardens in southern Oregon. I mean, ideally I want to go. I just don’t want to travel or pay for it or get the car fixed before we go or pack or do the dishes so there aren’t bugs when we get back or ugh.
as an adult we cant evolve, all of our opinions have ossified.
we argue and debate to entertain ourselves and show off that we know stuff.
if civil conversation gets boring, it never hurts to inject a bit of conflict.
though, i think, in the back of our minds we all know that the stakes are low and that there is no real danger, we are just going through the motions.
I do not agree with you, @Anon10 .
I think it is possible to evolve as an adult.
The brain of aged people tends to be more rigid than that of younger people, that’s true.
However, we have to try to solve our problems and develop our brain as an adult, as well.
It is very bad to say " I have a rigid brain, I am not going to evolve".
The chances of success are better as a younker, but there are a multitude of adults and even oldsters who managed to develop their brain at a very ripe age.
Love the colors. It’s nice 
I see the therapist in an hour. I just slept most of the day. I must have needed it.
Thank you 151515
Wow I had a really odd but sort of productive day. The guy who was supposed to interview me this morning never called or responded so I sent off an email to the manager to ask what had happened/if the position is still open.
Then I spent the whole afternoon working on my photoshop assignment, I suck 
, but I finally sent it in to my professor.
Now I asked my mom if she could make dinner tonight because I wanted to take a shower and veg out for the rest of the day.
Just finished my online math course. Next, is cs50 and maybe reviewing calculus or doing an online math class like precalculus through edx…
So much pressure in my head … I need a SPECT scan, but my darn GP moved to a different city. I need to find a new nearby doctor that knows what a SPECT scan even is.
Feeling weird today,
But I’ve still been productive.
Got my mother in law almost totally unpacked and did laundry.
My husband took the afternoon off, but we’re not hanging out because he took my mother in law out to run some errands.
Its just occurred to me that we won’t be having much alone time anymore and that makes me sad.
I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling weird @anon54386108. I hope you and your husband are able to have a little alone time soon.
Take care. 
.
