are you at least feeling better today?
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Thanks for asking!!! 
I’m more positive today because for the first time since last Thursday my condition is not worst than the day before.
When I’m sitting I feel well, but when I stand up, I feel dizzy, I have palpitations and tachycardia.
The nurse just called me and I will probably know today what my psychiatrist will do.
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Do you take something for this?
I have a friend similar to you. She is not able to take any antipsychotic. She tried one for anxiety and it did not help her.
I am sorry you feel this way but everything works out 
just small steps
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No the only thing which is effective for all my somatic symptoms is the antipsychotic. Normally I don’t have any symptoms with an antipsychotic. So this probably means my antipsychotic failed last week.
So maybe the dosage needs to be raised. I don’t know.
did you do anything differently?
exercise a lot or eat something bizarre or take something or maybe even you have gastro ?! could be you just got a horrible cold. The weather is changing
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The board seems quiet. Hopefully I’ll get some pm’s.
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The only thing that has been really different or unsual is that the last week, I got a lot of job interviews so I have been really stressed. 
It has been a BIG week!
Maybe the antipsychotic has not protected me well against the stress regarding the somatic symptoms.
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What about you? Are you feeling well actually?
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yeah could be… 
When I moved in to this apartment… I got sick for at least 1-2 months. It took me such a long time to get used to this new environment and feel like I am ‘home’ environment has a huge impact on us. It was a nightmare. I am very sensitive to my environment and people around me and their energy.
I tried changing jobs too last year… I got fired. Make sure you study the job well… Good luck!
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On a break but making progress, go me
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I am fine… Now I just made watermelon juice. I already feel a lot better. I am waiting for my grocery delivery any minute now. Then I have work and will clean and shower and cook. If I feel good, I’ll even go for a walk tonight.
My energy seems shifting throughout the day.
L Theanine has been a very big help for me in making me grounded, focused and stopping my intrusive thoughts + it has cured my insomnia
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Watermelon juice!! 
I hope you soon will have a lot of energy during all the day!
I have been given L-theanine last weekend!!!
@anon1571434 told me not to take L-theanine because the brain get accustomed to it and then one day your brain is not able to produce dopamine anymore.
What do you think of that? I’m interested in having your opinion.
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I did not check this detail but the pros are far more important. My brain is already not functioning well. Do you think these antipsychotics are better than some supplement? we are already taking poison 
You have a good argument! Thanks
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I just don’t like to think too far anymore to stop the suffering… I do whatever it takes to suffer less in the present moment.
This is a right way to see the situation I think. This is really true in my current situation since I need help quickly!
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Yes, especially when you’re clearly trying to sleep, not wanting to talk, and depressed.
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Do I have repressed memories? Was I ever abused? I just don’t know. There are weird things. Like how when I was only 9 or 10 I started getting my first rape nightmares even though I didn’t even know what rape was. I remember the first one, it was that I fell into a dark pit and shadowy figures kept raping me, I could barely move because the pit was filled with mud or something so I was slogging along. When I was younger I was also fixated on sex and didn’t really understand why. I discovered porn and would spend hours playing porn games, then I’d try to get my friends to play sexual games or play sexual games with my toys. I remember when I was around 9 sitting on the bed with my babysitter and feeling uncomfortable he was so close and not really understanding why but nothing happened to my knowledge, we were just talking. I know a certain uncle of mine has always made me feel uncomfortable but I figured it was just because he was awkward. And I certainly don’t want to go pointing fingers.
Then when I was somewhere between 10-12 along with rape nightmares I’d get these weird nightmares where I’d walk into my room or I’d be in the bathroom and a strange man would walk out of nowhere and lunge at me and I’d be so terrified I’d wake up before I could even run away. Then there was that whole debacle when I was 16 where I was having those horrific experiences of being abused by demons and my sexuality and everything has just been completely screwed up since then.
I don’t know. A lot of things would make sense if I was abused and forgot. I know I tend to erase things from my memory I didn’t like because I’ve done it with other things before I totally forgot until my mom reminded me. It just stresses me out. I read about one person who was abused from ages 2-6 and didn’t even remember a single thing about it until they were 27. Even my mom had a friend who in the middle of their prom broke down crying saying she had suddenly remembered being abused by her dad. Some people don’t remember until much later even. I’m scared and confused.
@Anna I really hope you were never ever raped and that your dreams are all just symptoms of mental illness!!!
But I can say that someone can be obsessed by sex at a very young age, sometimes because of mental illnesses like bipolarity. I have been.
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I need cheering up.
My food turned out heavenly. I will take a picture later!!
I made rice 
like my mom used to make
I made beef teriyaki 
I made potato 
puré and i used milk butter and salt in it. Turned out heavenly 
I do not have appetite. I dont feel good but at least i did some stuff. I will take my pill later and hope to feel okay.
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