We discussed traumatic events from my past and how I feel the songs on the Radio are inciting me.
He upped my meds…20mg of Olanzopine at night time…and told me not to do anything bold or brash…to just have a quiet Christmas with my family. He feels I’m having grandiose delusions. I don’t feel they are delusions. I’m still unsure how this is all going to unfold, but I see him again in a week.
I take 60mg zyprexa and I still have grandiose ideas, especially when it’s sunny day. What kind of grandiose delusions you have?
I feel if I make the right move, many children of the world will be fed and clothed. I don’t believe I’m a God or a Saviour…or anyone that important. I just think I’ve become a ‘spectacle’, and everyone is awaiting my next move.
My Doctor has told me not to do anything out of the ordinary. Logic is telling me this is the correct way to go about things, but my heart is telling me otherwise.
It’s almost as if every song on the Radio is the story of my life. It’s exhausting…I simply can’t listen anymore.
TV sends me messages every day
My grandiosity has been replaced. I’m quite unattached these days. Yes that is the best word to describe it. “Unattached” as an opposite to grandiose.
Almost like free would be another word. Feels nice to be free from grandiose ideas. Because they usually lead me to disappointment.
I spoke with my brother yesterday…
Me: “Hey Bro. In my psychosis I’ve realized most every song on the Radio has the theme of ‘love’, ‘crazy’ or ‘highway’.”
Brother: “That’s okay. You’ve just discovered that most songwriters are HACKS!”
I spoke to my brother too and told him that TV mentioned his name when he texted me.
It was mind blowing. He just said it’s a coincidence.
Glad you met your Dr so you are getting help.
Good wishes for you with your medication increase.
I think olanzapine is a really good medication (apart from weight gain I did not seem to have other side effects)
It seems calming unlike the one I am on now which is good too but causes jaw clenching n more prone to hysteria etc
I have also had grandiose but never told anyone about it.
Wishing you a great Christmas with your daughters,wife n loved ones you want to be with.
That’s great that he is willing to help you through medication changes! I hope you indeed have a quiet Christmas!
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