Hi. I’m not new to this website. I used to post here a lot, but stopped after believing I didn’t suffer with a psychotic disorder, but I was most likely wrong…
Something’s been bothering me for the longest of time, and it is something extremely personal and that I never talk about so I please ask to be sensitive about the topic.
Anyway, I’ve been with my partner for almost 5 years. Since I was about 17 and he, 18.
I somehow got this delusional thought where he and my own mother has been sneaking behind my back. It didn’t start until after 2 years of being together.
We broke up last year, yet kept in contact since.
We’ve had some time apart though, especially since he moved a couple hours away, and I wouldn’t think or even consider that delusion anymore (in that time being apart).
It wasn’t until lately that since we’ve considered working things out and getting back together, that it happened again and it’s worse now because there has been so many coincidences (in my mind, at least, and I put them together and it makes sense).
It is seriously crippling and killing me.
In the past, when it was worse, I had confronted them about it, only because I would break down and it was hard to hide, and they would reassure me, more than once, that nothing was going on. Which would give me temporary relief, but it’s happening again.
I don’t know what to do. What should I do? To help with these delusions or the whole situation.
I can’t take it anymore. It kills me so much inside…
it’s honestly been making me suicidal too.