Schizophrenia.com

Rough Night

I can’t tell what’s real and what’s not. I don’t know what to believe. Last night was terrible. There were a bunch of people in my room last night and I just cried and couldn’t sleep. I was going to sleep with the light on because I was scared they’d hurt me. Some of them left I think two or three of the stayed and eventually I turned the light off because I didn’t want my mom to say anything or ask questions. I don’t think I fell asleep till past 5am. I remember thinking last night after watching a suicide prevention video that I didn’t want to put my mom through the pain of holding my lifeless body screaming to wake me up. I’m not currently suicidal by the way this was just a thought I had based off the video. I was going to leave my house without anything and just walk until I couldn’t anymore. Then I thought well I can’t let my mom see me like this I’ll take the bus or Lyft/Uber to the hospital. I told myself I’d Uber it was cheaper and it was more likely they’d let me in the car with no shoes. I wanted to leave just the way I was no shoes, phone, or wallet. This isn’t in order if events I don’t think. My memory is bad and scattered. I’m scared…I don’t even recognize myself.

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Are you on mefs? Up your dosage and talk with your psychiatrist about these issues.

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yeah I agree you need to egt ur meds adjusted…I hope things improve for you soon…keep up the posts here at sz.com…I think this place helps

That is tough for sure. You are strong.

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My med situation is a complete disaster. I am only currently on a med for depression and haven’t seen my psych in almost two months. I see him on the 31st for our appointment and we spoke on the phone for about 10 minutes last week. We tried to get a few med things sorted from when I was in the hospital. He couldn’t do much though without me physically in his office. He likes to see me physically, but I did explain to him the mess the hospital left me with so he gave me samples of one med to hold med over and put in for the other one. The other med is supposed to be for “hallucinations” it needs a prior authorization though so yeah. I’m just trying to hold it together. I will be telling him what happened I just got really freaked and didn’t know where to turn so I came here.

Thanks I hope so too.

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