I got over it long time ago back in 2014. She wanted me to work, pay my bills like the house and live with her. I couldn’t hold a job for more than a few days since sz. I told her I can’t work, I will pay my part and stay in the house 24/7 while she works full time, she said its unfair and called me a big baby. She said she’s not my mother to take care of me.
1 Like
Also I started isolating myself and not going outside due to negative symptoms, she said my life has changed for the worse, it became boring for her since I got sz.
Any romantic love I’ve had is a hallucination.
2 Likes
It sounds sad. Does that mean that all your lovens have been imaginary?
Basically they have been real people I imagined having sex with but had little to nothing to do with in reality. Sometimes it’s been sex I’ve had in dreams.
So you’ve made up lovestories based on real People, but the stories were imaginary?
Well I am in a relationship but I don’t know if my feelings for him are real or if I’m just imagining him to be the love of my life
Three things made me realize they were imaginary. I have no phone numbers or pictures, and all I know have children with other men, or other names.
I thought someone I had romantic feelings for was communicating with me telepathically and sending me music etc. There were things I heard him say in my mind before he actually said it… I used to dream about him a lot too… i would hear him and the other mean voices and a woman voice who was sometimes kind. Then things went really wrong…I no longer believe in romantic love and I no longer talk with this person.
3 Likes
How long did it last? I have known my bf for 2,5 years but we are breaking up all the time
1 Like
I’m sorry hope you guys can work things out.
We didn’t really have a “relationship”… more like a situationship, off and on… it was 3 years.
I met him in Feb 2018 and had my first episode in August 2018… and he was a big part of the episode. Mostly because of the paranoia and the “telepathic” connection and the st.johns wort making hallucinations worse.
And did you think you’ve could have stopped it?or did it just suddenly occurs? I can’t remember when my irrational thoughts of him started but I do remember that I back then thought “Oh this can’t be true” and then “but its really romantic though” And then my thougts turned into my New reality. I also dreamt of him And thought he was reaching out for me through my Dreams.
Do you remember Any of the messages he sent you? For me it was just a message that he was down And needed to talk, and when I was calling him the next Day it turned out to be true.
I honestly did not want it to stop, because I thought it was coming from him. I wanted to stop all the other voices and just focus on the one I believed was him.
Hearing music started after I met him. There was a time I was deep on psychosis and I heard a voice say “he is going to call you now” and he did. There are a lot weird things that happened and a lot of things felt very real. Yes I remember messages and the feelings I would get (like feeling his energy) … I also was into new age and did a lot of readings that confirmed a lot of what i felt, heard or saw regarding him and other things.
I no longer believe these things though.
1 Like
How did they make you fall in love with someone?
My hallucinations tend to put me off the people they sound like.
1 Like
The way he touched me.
The sex.
His powers as of he was entitled to them. But no he was actually evil in the end
I was also scared of him.
It was more a physical attraction than compatability.
Since I did not feel compatible.
I tried to make him like my sister instead
So that I did not have to go to hell
How did they drive you away
I’m not supposed to have hallucinations. I know that. I miss how it was, before the hallucinations.
Their presence is an inherent violation, and a show of disrespect toward me. I feel violated.
Sometimes, schizophrenia is like never being able to leave a rapist. Boundaries that other people are hardly aware of, are violated, regularly, by some unknown entity.
I feel like so much has been stolen from me, and for no reason.
1 Like
You sound really selfish. Your sister deserves better.
What if neither you nor your sister had to be with him? If he is an idiot neither of you should be dating him.
1 Like
I understand your feelings of how you didn’t want it to stop. Most of the time psychosis is a hell on earth. When you’re in love there is finaly something that makes you happy Even if it is a hallucination.
1 Like
I was meant to be his partner but I didn’t want to be. So if I couldn’t find him an alternate partner then I was destined for hell.
I feared hell and would rather my sister and him were together and I don’t go to hell.
I felt they actually suited each other somehow.
And yes we were not close at the time, me and her.
I thought if she was with him, it would change him to a better person. And she would like him.
I even one night touched my sister. Whilst I was full blown psychotic. I had asked to sleep with her. I wanted to make the voice see that her and him were ideal for each other. He was inside my body spiritually, and could feel what I was feeling when I touched her.
I did apologise to her when I was not psychotic anymore about this