Rigid feeling and religiousity

Symptom of schizophrenia. I never accepted that I have schizophrenia. In the past that is. I used to hang out with friends that was real, and some imaginary. I did need a substance called cathenone. Amphetamines. I lived a high life, it started after my diagnosis. I’m clean now but I feel rigid, I feel like someone I’m not. Probably is the life without stimulants. What do you do when u feel rigid. You feel overly religious like a broken record with Bible study methods to keep believing when you cannot feel your own thoughts like when you were alive?

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