Six days ago i was hospitalized for 30 hours, locked ward (stupid suicide thoughts)
Locked ward makes you even more crazy, as most of you probably know?
I managed to go to work the day after, and it felt good to see other people, react normal and talk about trivial, but when im alone, i feel haunted by emptiness. Disappearing into my self.
I thought yesterday i was ”back to life, back to reality” but im not.
I have just taken the first two steps into normality and right now im having a backslide.
Two steps forward, one step back, and tomorrow two steps forward once again.
Hoping you are able to start feeling better soon!
i have days where i wish i was locked away in a nice institution, if there is such a thing. sometimes it seems better than to try to work and struggle to get by. but usually the feeling passes and i realize i would be bored out of my mind on a ward.
hope you get back to enjoying your freedom as i usually do.
Thanks, im on my way to get better. Just bad today… And @Lifer i know what you think, sometimes it would be better to stay in a nice, warm and cosy institution, but locked ward is not such
I hope you manage to readjust to normal life soon.
Yeah some of the wards are like jail. That’s yet another reason I stick to my treatment, I don’t want to end up there again because of how traumatizing it can be.
They call it a soft prison.
Wishing you the best. I know how hard it can be to be in a ward.
I feel the same way. When I’m busy it’s not so bad, but when I go home alone I feel scared of myself and what might happen. It’s hard
I wish you well @bluebutterfly!
I hope you’ll feel better soon! I always have a hard time adjusting after a hospital stay. But I’m sure you got this and you can do this!
Thanks @everhopeful @Wave @velociraptor and the rest of you.
Today is a two steps forward day.
Hope you feel better, @bluebutterfly ! I was in the hospital for a week in February. My first time. It was awful. As close to prison as I’d like to be
I hate the locked wards. I’ve lost count on how many times I’ve been locked up and it’s never a good experience. I try to avoid it at all costs.
I’ve only been to the locked ward once, but it was for my own good.
People there seemed more badly hit by whatever was troubling them, and that kind of stressed me out a bit.
But at the same time, I felt safe knowing that I was kept from harming myself.
Although I did tell a nurse that I have a severe Kiwi allergy and I was thinking of eating the kiwi in the fruitbowl to die, and then she put it in front of me and walked away to test if I’d do it.
That struck me as rather odd.
I know exactly how you feel. I was sectioned on numerous occasions and spent time in locked wards, in the isolation room here in France [I’m not French but spent time in French psychiatric hospitals], normally I had my own room so that was more normal. It’s been about 3 months since I was released [this time in the UK], adapting to life outside of the 4-walls is rather difficult. I watched the movie “A Beautiful Mind” today about John Nash the famous schizophrenic Mathematician. It’s difficult to grasp the idea that we could be taking these drugs for life, I don’t want that to be the case, in my case. I quite enjoy Mathematics actually, but lack talent in it, I failed my GCSE in Mathematics twice, before finally getting a C. I’m not particularly academic, unlike my parents who both attended university.
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