I am not able to relate to anyone. Is there hope in me?
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Are you able to read or take any media in at all?
People talk about weather, sports, traffic, etc.
I just started watching FUBAR a show on Netflix with Arnold Schwarzenegger and it’s classic Arnie.
Book knowledge is still the best in my eyes and I limp there but I keep trying.
I’d like to read the new Walter Isaacson biography on Elon Musk, but My father can’t stand him… which detracts.
Plus on that I already read the Ashlee Vance biography on Musk that came out like 4 years ago… so there’d be overlap.
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You can relate to people here on the forum and we can relate to you.
Maybe you need to find people with similar interests to you?
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I am able to read books but not able to fully concentrate on the books. I am here in this site mostly in terms of media but I have to put lot of efforts to post a topic or understand the posts.
I am almost dead in terms of life to mingle and be of use to the group or family. I am working full time but it is highly stressful and taxing in terms of learning and giving output in the job.
Feel like anytime soon ending life or I will not be supported by anyone much. My life has been not so much fun just boring piece of story not for anyone.
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Nice of you to tell that. If people here are able to relate to me that is great. Maybe I can relate to some extent with others here.
I am not good at anything or my interests are very new and its as if I am born new just few months back. As I had to fix some serious teething issues which caused me mental health and other issues in the past.
I am not sure if I can recover from severe traumatic past. And now I have to catch up with what I was not able to do and repay unusual amount of loans. I am not sure if this life is worth living and fighting for.
No matter what good I do or close loans or improve my family, I am not sure if I will ever be happy or normal. Because I have a poor image among people and I am being tracked by set of police in my area and most probably I will be a ruin in life.
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I find your post very upsetting and sad…please don’t think you won’t have a life…you sound unstable…do you have a pdoc? please tell them what you are telling us.
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I don’t know how long you’ve had schizophrenia, but it can get better. I’ve experienced a lot of change with this illness. Also spending just a short amount of time at my day program made me realize that not all is lost forever. I’ve also experienced drastic change just on a new med after 14 years of feeling like it couldn’t get better or get much better. idk though I’m kinda lucky to have found this med, and have the kind of life I have with day treatment and circumstances. I’ve been through the ringer though. Your situation sounds difficult though and you’re a strong person for tackling it. Also I experienced being stalked at my worst. It was no fun, but that too can pass.
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I have an app were I can reach out to any pdocs anytime for a year. It is through phone and also can reach out to psychologists. They try to give some words of encouragement. But it is short lived.
My father brutally abused and died out of cancer and same way I was brutally abused it has deeply impacted me. Some cases are never solved. Mine is such. Hope I have better life next time.
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I won’t hurt myself don’t worry. I am not that brave.
Everybody on this forum knows pain. We are in this together. Maybe you need to find a new perspective on your life. Like not expecting too much of yourself and feeling that’s ok under the circumstances. You can take pride you are working despite your difficulties. Hold on to the positives, there is hope for you and everyone else.
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You are absolutely right. I am trying to work on things that I can and that I cannot leave it. There are mood swings as well in terms of hope and no hope in life.
I need a new perspective of life that is not bad and based on it lead life and have less expectations as you said. Hopefully I see the life in new light and be of less painful to myself and others. Thanks.
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Hopefully there’ll be a 2nd series.
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I completely understand how you are feeling. I attempted to do full time work but the belittling feeling in the office and the feelings of disappointment from my coworkers were stressful enough for me to resign. I do think there was some discrimination present in my workplace too. I eventually opened up about my diagnosis to my manager, trying to get a sense of understanding for my occasional flaws in performance. I really did try my best, but like you said, it’s taxing and completely draining. I’ve returned to disability assistance and I have a part time job as a receptionist. I admit that is difficult to simply exist, much less live a fulfilling life on limited income though. It is a huge accomplishment just to carry on a full time job, as managing this illness is itself a full time job. I admire your perseverance!!
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Thanks. That is right to have less stress maybe go for less paying job. But I will be able to do that only when I am able to pay off the loans. I might need to stick to this job for another 4 years and by that time I might be good at the job if I stick around.
But to be in the job and perform and learn things is something that takes lot of time and efforts. Wish I could be that and help myself see end of the tunnel.
@Elizabeth_K sorry…I can’t work as an architect but I just now got a gig volunteering for an action figure and toy museum. the boss is like willy wonka…really great artist…designed the teenage ninja mutant turtle toys…so excited for you that you can still work part time.
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