Reflecting on my life before and after sza

It is like 99 percent of the life I lived is before the diagnosis, there used to be so much to do, so many people to meet, so many places to go.

After diagnosis, it has been hell of a battle dealing with the illness, and it has quite literally, consumed me. In the sense, that not much happened in my life apart from dealing with the illness.

I have been trading stocks since the last three years, but I am carrying a diagnosis since the last 14, and time flew by— I don’t know what to say, I suppose what I am trying to say is that “99 percent of the things that happened in my life” happened before the diagnosis, even though it has been 14 years since the diagnosis. I guess with sza time literally flies.

Does anyone feel similarly?

1 Like

Yeah I was diagnosed 5 yrs ago where did the time go… Oh wait laying around to scared to go anywhere. I use to love getting out of the house.

2 Likes

I got a lot less social and confident after the diagnosis as well. Like I don’t feel like meeting new people, I used to love to meet new people.

1 Like

I fear everyone’s talking about me now. I literally only feel good at the pdoc appointment where everyone has issues

2 Likes

Haha I hate the pdoc’s appointment or to be with people who have issues.

I generally feel pretty normal you know.

But, nothing can replace the lost experiences in the last 14 years or so I suppose.

1 Like

I guess going to College in the island of manhattan, whether for master’s at Columbia, or my undergraduate institution, had its charm. Its the social hub of the world, with all sorts of people, a melting pot.

I feel like living in a much more constrained world currently, and also because of the lingering symptoms…

1 Like

I can’t shake the fact that ppl know my past and are judging me and on top of that know I’m. Sz

It’s a small world

1 Like

It means you have positive symptoms.

Positive symptoms are a struggle to deal with, though I doubt it, I used to feel being under external control. Currently, sometimes I believe it, sometimes I doubt it, and mostly don’[t care about it since things are not bothering me currently.

But, these symptoms you are mentioning are a constant struggle. It takes a bit of make-believe to convince yourself that it is nothing external, it is your brain playing tricks with you.

1 Like

I was diagnosed 30 years ago, and it seems like yesterday. The older I get the time seems to go faster.

1 Like