to me, recovery is not about getting back to where I was- it is about turning my year and a half of psychosis into a catalyst to make me better than I was before. I am stronger than ever (physically), as sociable as I was before my onset and making all A’s like I did before psychosis. I plan on following my rather brutal mantra; “What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger”. I take every day on medications, in remission as an opportunity to be better and be stronger than I ever have been.
I used to think that every day would be the same, I would anxiously function at a level below my ability and then get drunk to dull the pain, quiet the voices and escape my twisted version of reality. Now every day is a dream come true, just waking up and not hearing voices nor feeling people watching me is more than I ever expected out of life. I used to think that I would always be a schizophrenic. Now I am a person who has schizophrenia.
It makes me sad to see some of us continue to struggle, but I think that you people who have been fighting schizophrenia for longer than I did are stronger than I am.