Really need some advice, work related

I turned in an application just yesterday to a neighborhood market. Walking distance. Walked back up there today to follow up. One day I know, I felt uneasy about it, but out of the need for a job I forced myself to walk there and back…

I so briefly talked to the hiring manager and he said he remembered seeing my app when I told him my name, and to come back today a few hrs from then.

I felt really shook up the whole time. It was obvious I was already stressing. When I go back, I want to ask him for night shift, maybe in back in the meat section but I mean, then it’s really obvious I’m not a friendly/social able person. I guess it doesn’t hurt to ask him that. I just don’t want everyone there to overhear me and think i’m a freak you know.

I keep to myself a lot. And hate that. In no way did I feel like going to follow up, let alone walk the whole way there as everyone drove their cars past me already feeling “crazy”. But I forced myself to do it. Call me an idiot, but i’m a bold idiot I guess.

Sounds like you are doing all the right things to get a job. I know I need to start trying to get one. I dont think it hurts to ask him for the night shift. You never know unless you ask. Anyways, keep us posted on if you get the job or not.

I think it may be possible to request a position where you are not working with the general public if you find that uncomfortable. You could just say that you prefer to work alone focusing on a specific task for example.

Job or not you’re facing your fears. That will help create a catalyst of positive outcomes. Keep pushing yourself Wanderer

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Everyone is different. Some ppl feel better when working alone and some ppl need co-workers near by. I work alone all day but see co-workers in the evening when I head back to HQ.

mat, bro. i’m sure you could get one if you set yourself to it. i showed up and filled out like 180 questions as if i was already about to get put on the pay roll. but for some reason the connection between me and the hiring manager was not as good as it is when someone lands a job. i showed up, and so called “faked all the emotions that usually qualify someone for a positions.”

it just goes to show one…u cannot hide anything from the light. “All things will be revealed in the last days.” As it is said in the Hebrew text. If there is insecurity in one’s heart, it will be shown. If there is insecurity in one’s heart…there is insecurity between one and god…

Love and courage goes out to you and whatever your struggle is my friend. Thank you for the response.

Thank you, my fellow Wanderlust. Till the end, my friend.

I may just hit the wilderness with a compound bow and tent and sleeping bag and flint fire starter and life like the primitive indians use to.

These days, its a joke anyways to live a so called normal life.

Live what fits you.

If that means living off the land. And leaving all you once knew behind, who gives a ■■■■.

It’s between you and the heavenly Father in the end anyways.

Do what keeps you alive.

Yeah, that was very bold. Like they say, “No guts, no glory”. So you put yourself out there, hopefully it will pay off. When you walked there with all those cars whizzing by all they saw was a person walking down the street. You came into their field of vision for a couple seconds, they might have given you a glance for a split second, then they were gone. No big deal. But I understand, I get self-conscious walking down the street sometimes and I think everybody is thinking of me. When in reality it’s the exact opposite.

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Everybody is hiding something.

You know what nick…i think you’re onto somethin…

But seriously my friend. You are exactly right. My misinterpretation is my own. And is quite evident that I do in fact suffer from some sort of narcissistic mentality, at the very least…

I wish I had a genie in a bottle, so that I may wish clean the mind that I have created for mine self.

However, life works not in that fashion…

How then.

nick, do the great favor of shedding this light while you are at it, please

Shedding the light about what?

on how to heal.

on the steps back to the mind of the inner child.

so that i might be happy again.

you seem to be quite the analyst.

I’ve taken medication for 35 years. I see a therapist and a psychiatrist. I keep in touch with my family and I try to get out of the house. I also work part time and take online classes. I go to a depression support group. This is what I do to help myself.

Everyone does seem to be individualistic. And most go through the transfiguration of experiencing both sides of the coin.

For example, I can remember eagerly waiting to arrive at school just to be among my group of friends.

And in these days. I can’t wait to get into a dark room…If i’m going to be honest about it…

It’s quite, insane.

my fellow. i cannot even equate to the effort that you say you are giving.

my “effort” consists of rising in the morning and stereo typically fixing myself a cup of coffee to stereo typically begin the stereo typical day.

in all honesty. i avoid such “stigmatized” outlets as they seem to subconsciously effect and determine who i really am.
if that makes any sense whatsoever.

i guess what i am asking, is doesn’t all of the Rx medication, the therapy, the groups… instill in your mind that you are accepting that there is something not right about you.?

with no offense whatsoever. im just asking the question…

I already know something is not right with me. If I didn’t do these things it would make it worse. I don’t let psychiatry, medication, or any other treatment define me.The way I look at therapy is that so-called “normal” people often go into therapy. So I am just doing what they are doing. It’s help. But it’s not my whole life.

No harm in asking for the night shift - people will just assume you have something going on during the day; maybe another job, other responsibilities - no one will think twice. And since most people prefer working during the day, there’s a good chance of availability. Tell him you prefer back-end type work because that’s what you’re good at.

All good and fine. But when you tell someone that out of insecurity, only a real deceptive artist can hide it and not give off the reason that it’s because they don’t mix well with the average person.

I’m pretty damn good at masking things. But, when it comes to hiding something from the Lord. It really just ends up being edification…

I suggest u look the term up, Ms. woman