Reading your own medical record is a shock!

My social worker has collected a sample of my medical records for the meeting (board) where it’s decided if I can get disability.

I have just read them, and it’s a shock to read about yourself in the Pdocs language. It’s so sterile and “objective”, like if you were an animal examined by a professional zoologist, there is no place for “me” or the way I understand myself.

Apparently I have not got a future, I’m “treatment resistant” and there is no hope for recovery.

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That’s what they said about me. Resistant to treatment does not mean untreatable. Just means the route you’re on has more detours than others. You can still get to where you want to be.

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Thanks, i don’t feel treatment resistant. At the moment i’m okay, I’m stable, but I have a feeling that I haven’t got any future.

When you get older, you lose some of the ambition in life, and that’s connected with the feeling of no future… I guess I just have to adjust to the age I am, and try to get the best out of it.

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Sounds like great news if your aim is to get disability. I might have it harder seeing that I don’t take medication. Obviously you have a future, just not in classical bourgeois terms.

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Ha. Yes, it’s good if I want disability. But it’s a strange and distant way to describe me. I’m human, not some “specimen” that needs to be described.

I think you have good possibilities for disability even if you don’t take meds.

You once told me you never have had a job, and if you are not used to having a job, it’s pretty obvious you will have trouble getting and keeping one.

I think and hope you will have a fair chance.

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Treatment resistant is doctor speak for “the first meds they tried didn’t work”. Anyone taking a combination of 2x AP’s, and anyone taking the older AP’s, are probably labelled the same way as you have been.

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Like others have said, treatment-resistant is just a fancy way of saying the meds don’t work. I am in the same boat.

I am also at the age where there are no major goals looming on the horizon. Someone once said to me, it’s okay to look back, just don’t stare. I find the same thing applies to the future. I have to concern myself with what I do now, not whether my future conforms to society’s view of what “a future” looks like.

Psychiatrist reviews are very cold and clinical. Try not to let that influence you too much

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Thanks, that’s just the way I feel, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a meaningful life. And i will try just that.

I guess it’s the outside look and description of yourself that is difficult to accept. Suddenly you see yourself as others, professionals, see you. And there lies this strange feeling of being alienated.

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Totally my experience as well

The treatment resistant label gets used far too often

It took a psychiatrist with a back bone to intervene in my case

He could see I was trying, and the health system was failing me

I went through 5 years of hell changing meds a lot and relapsing to find a treatment that worked

Many other people either don’t have the time or resources to give you that sort of attention, but he did and I am forever grateful to this doctor for helping me where others couldn’t be bothered

You can do it. Just got to deal out some ass kickings and make plenty of noise when something is not right

Recovery is a two way thing. They need to believe in you as you do yourself for this to work

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