Like with my schizophrenia everything seems deterministic and changes according to quantum events or fluctuations in my life-- from small things to big things. Just because I don’t know or can’t predict it doesn’t make it random. I mean it feels subjectively random (even objectively) to most people on this planet, but I always been a naysayer about the existence of true randomness. I don’t think anyone truly knows in this world even though most think they know the truth. (I don’t know either).
That I would say X happens because X was supposed to happen and Y didn’t because it wasn’t possible or meant to be…lol.
Like I’m alive due to certain factors or events playing out and fate, destiny, and alien help and quantum physics, not because of other factors. I sometimes bring my faith into it and chance or luck or whatnot like karma.
I’ve seen the worst of humanity and the worst of people.
Like a constant delusion I have is we live in a computer simulation or program (never figured out how it works but maybe stochastic processes or quantum markov/monte carlo stuff lol???).
So each simulation/universe is run on a super computer and changes according to the initial inputs or variables and is predictable and time would be an illusion or not exist per se.
Then a parallel universe would be like a network of super computers or parallel processing(?). I don’t know. Thoughts?
People say it’s a delusion but it feels really real like I was there in other simulations or universes or worldlines and history was changed, altered, or I was in a different computer simulation completely. I figured aliens sent my consciousness/soul there into a parallel ‘me’ in a parallel universe in a ‘past life.’ For those that know me, I seem to wake up/reincarnate in 2013ish (approx.) and relive my life starting from that year and previous stuff never changes for me (no quantum branching/splitting even via the electron…). (So is that a causal loop or time travel stuff?). I often feel like that is part of my mental illness (causing it) and that no wonder I’m sick because most people have no memory or perception of such things.
Thoughts, theories? I guess I’m coming from a computer science angle here where the universe is a matrix (consciousness included) just like the original first movie.