I’m anxious thinking about going back on meds but I don’t know why entirely. The idea over whelms me. I stopped because it wore off a week before my injection and I went psychotic and Isk if I still am or not, I do believe I am dead still but I am not hallucinating anymore. Haven’t for a few days. I also believed that demons want me to take meds, and everyone trying to get me back on is a demon. This idea doesn’t cross my mind anymore, but I’m just as anxious about it. I am getting daily mood swings . Yesterday I woke up hyper and ready to go, even was dancing at work and just really happy. Then 3 hours into my shift.my mood tanks for NO reason. Woke up this morning depressed, slowly became manic.
I’m clear enough that I should probably get back on meds, but I’m having panic attacks just thinking about it.
I was making excuses at the time, I could have gone, not super easily but I had offers to watch her. But now it’s financial since I missed so many days at work and can’t afford to miss more for a while. I could schedule it, but it would have tk wait a couple weeks.
I would get evicted if I missed that many days. but my stays tend to be 4 or 5 days. I could miss that and be fine if I scheduled my days off around it. I only work 3 days a week.
I haven’t been well since April. Then may 18 (when my ex threatened suicide and attacked me and punched a hole in the door)absolutely tore me up. Then I had to file a protective order , see her in court and listen to her accuse me of abuse, I moved to a new city and my job situation got way worse here, I live in a sketchy neighborhood with a dirty ass roommate. It’s just… a lot and it’s all hitting me right now.
Yeah, I agree that you need some kind of help. Whether that is contacting your doctor and going back on meds or going to the hospital I don’t know, but I agree you need to take some steps to get you back into reality.