Question might settle some of my building anxiety/depression

So some of you might remember reading that I’m working on a novel. Yet I have a bunch of books I’ve bought over the past few years about writing prompts I’d like to go through but I feel guilty about going to work on a different thing. I mean the time should be spent on my novel shouldn’t it?

Maybe stepping back from it for a while might get me some new perspectives on it. Maybe I’m just pushing off the work because I don’t know what to do with a scene. Is it procrastination or is it still considered working on writing if I’m procrastinating with other writings? I mean I bought these books I might as well get the use out of them. But if I don’t just sit and write the novel it wont get completed. Yet I might come along with a better story that I can actually finish…

I don’t know what to do with myself. I’m stressing myself out because I want to finish this one novel. I’m stressing out because I’m worried I may not even have another story in me. I’m worried because I don’t know how well my story would sell if I put it on the market. And while it may not be the whole reason one thing that has me motivated is getting it published making money off of it. If I put it aside and work on something else am not just delaying that goal??

I just don’t know what to do. I should try and convince myself that I’m writing for the therapeutic reasons but voices are telling me I need to be writing for money or out getting a job. I don’t even know if I could handle a job. I do not do well with stress period, and I know jobs are highly stressful. I had an easy job but the people there made it more stressful than it had to be. I thought about going back there but it’s no longer convenient for me to get to. It’s not really about the money…it’s stress of writing good enough to please others. To please the voices in my head, and I don’t see myself doing that. I don’t know what I should do with myself now…

I think you are not suitable for a highly demanding job because you still have some symptoms like voices and depression. If a job is a low stress one, then you might be able to handle.

Good luck with your writing.

Maybe postman could be a good job for you? You get out a lot. You get exercise on the job and you get some money. You meet new ppl and get new input to your novel. Sometimes you need to step back a bit when you are stuck and do something else and then go back to your work. I paint and draw. I often leave the painting and return with a fresh mind.

I don’t have a driver’s license. … be kind of hard delivering the mail by bus.

When I was 13 i delivered post and stuff. I had 4 areas to do. About 2000 houses. I had a cart that i pulled with all the commercials and post. It took me about 1 hour/area. I got nearly 4000SEK a month. (570USD)

They drove the commercials home to me and there I put them in the cart.

I did this every second sunday morning.

Time spent writing will always come back and help your novel. There is a person in my family trying to break into writing and when he works on other things… he learns something new to bring back to his main project. So be kind to yourself and give yourself some slack.

You might get the best idea for your novel while working on something else.

There are a lot of authors who visit the city and promote books here and my sis will go an see a lot of them.

I forgot which one it was… but one author got some of his best novel material when he was writing for his 9-5 job.

I bet you will have another story in you… we all do.

@suprisedJ thank you for the encouragement. I think it’s just the voices trying to get me into full blown panic or depression. They’re not as bad today, at least not so far. I’m normally sleeping at this time but I’ve been up on my computer, not writing just kind of messing around in Spotify. I’m going to head back to bed for a while, my mind is getting sleepy now.

@comatose I’m not that interested in delivering mail.