Question about sexuality and fetishistic behaviour

DX'd - Sz/SzA
#1

Ok, here it goes everyone.

I have a few fetishes that I am very passionate about. I haven’t had sex or had a girlfriend in a very long time.

Lately since I’ve gotten the internet I have been watching some videos of very beautiful women wearing the things I enjoy.

Now – is this the same as someone who doesn’t have any fetishes/kinks looking at pornography?

I am just worried that I am becoming perverted (sexually) and that looking at these videos is changing my brain.

Please help and thank you for reading :v:

1 Like
#2

Anything you spend all your time doing can become a problem if it controls your life and you don’t control it.

I think we all have stuff that turns us on, kink or fetish, what ever one wants to call it, I have my share of them over the years, as long as you are not getting yourself in trouble, why worry about it.

2 Likes
#3

Thank you for the response! I only watch these videos a total of maybe 10 minutes out of my day. So I don’t think I am being controlled by viewing them.

Therefore I like to think I have a grasp on all of it.

1 Like
#4

For my own recovery I have decided it is best to try and integrate into the real world than to live in a fantasy world like I used to. I am currently on day 10 of a NoFAP challenge, so that means no videos for me!

3 Likes
#5

That sounds pretty holistic and healthy @Bee3 I am sorry but what is “NoFAP”?

1 Like
#6

It don’t matter what you call the things you like, there are people out there that share the same view,it’s just a matter of connecting with them.

As long as no one goes home angry at the end of the day, consider it all good.

2 Likes
#7

edit, oops that was supposed to be a link to the thread, not a quote! NVM

1 Like
#8

Thank you, that’s a nice philosophy for me to adopt.

Take care :v:

1 Like
#9

Haha no worries :slight_smile: I think I get the idea.

#10

the part about the muscles(the last sentence in the quote) seems irrelevant and redundant in hindsight, it has nothing to do with anything
:smile: @Bee3

1 Like
#11

exactly.

I had a unmoderated addiction to porn. I’ve looked very hard into it, I’ve heard anti-porn speeches, I’ve read anti-porn papers

but at some points, it simply boils down to legal issues.
you can hire someone to wear beautiful things and dance or spin for you.

but I’m quite sure you can’t easily legally hire someone to physically touch you at an intimate level. in America, most of the states, including mine, do not allow prostitution.

as far as moderation, that might require a deeper understanding of yourself.

“if I watch an hour more of this stuff, will I then increase my chances of doing something stupid to an innocent passerby later on?”

also, I stopped watching porn a few months ago. but I still do a few dumb @#$^ things, now and then, because I write much strong romance poetry.
;/

1 Like
#12

Yes, I agree. I’ll do some soul-searching and read tonight.

That reminds me, I got a rad book on American Indian spirituality.

1 Like
#13

I love to nip my partner on the neck.

1 Like
#17

I mean looking at porn and lusting about people.

#18

I know what you mean. porn can be very sick and twisted sometimes. I’ve seen some horrible $%^&, back in my porn days. very sad #*$%

1 Like
#19

I watch kinky porn, myself. Nothing wrong with it, I find, provided it isn’t absorbing your life.

1 Like
#20

That’s cool. And yeah I think as long as I don’t let it interfere with my relationships with other people. well no harm then. Just my .02.

Edit: I don’t watch porn, but pretty much just what is called “fetish videos,”

2 Likes
#21

I used to channel all my bad feelings into sexual fantasies for a long time until I ended up making some bad choices… Now I stay away from porn.

It really seemed fair that I got free porn for having to put up with the world, now I know that is not the way things work.

1 Like
#22

same.

I know some people are cool with porn. but when I watch a little bit, I get hooked. even after withdrawing from it, my mind keeps thinking about the scenes in videos, to a point where I have no control of my thoughts.

it’s a horrible and sad experience. a reason why I stopped