In this weeks news:
The Emperor of Japans son has been kidnapped by aliens.
Ernie has come forth about allegations against touching Burt in his sleep.
Mr. Peanut has cracked up and is currently under psychological evaluation.
Peace talks between the Dolphins and Sharks still continue.
Man explains how eating cigarette stew is a healthy diet before puking on interviewer.
School drama club puts on play about how dinosaurs “do it” at a public zoo. 8 chimpanzes are reported missing.
And can eating computer chips make you smarter? Find out next week