I was triggered, this morning, by a smell that took me back to abuse. I’m usually the type of trauma survivor that pushes it down so I won’t be overwhelmed, and disgusted, leading to suicidal ideation and attempts.
Here’s the thing. I have been flooded with flashbacks to instances of abuse since my last psychiatric hospitalization in September.
How do I know if it’s real, how do I know it’s not a false memory? Why haven’t I had flashbacks of this instance of abuse until now? Is it my minds way of showing me I’m stronger, and I need to deal with it?
try to accept it. and defuse it. the fight or flight can make it worse. dont fight or run away your feelings. try to relive them. that what i learn about reading ACT book
The last time I got all up in my traumas, I became psychotic and stayed a month in a state psychiatric hospital. My therapist and pdoc say I became MI probably from trauma. Who knows where the sza comes from?
I’ll keep my feelings in the front of my brain and see what happens.
