I was talking to somebody last night who hallucinates and doesn’t need APs and it got me to thinking about my own dependence on them.
For me psychosis is so much more than just hallucinations, delusions, and paranoia. It is a general feeling of unwellness in my head. It makes me dizzy and blurs my vision and if it gets too bad I black out.
I have gotten to where I can feel this unwellness in my head. I get it between doses of Geodon sometimes even when I am taking my meds. And it’s how I figure out if I have skipped a dose. I feel it right now and I just popped my meds. Waiting for them to hit.
I am dependent upon antipsychotics not just keeping me from having positive symptoms but to keep me out of the hospital. This quote is from Wikipedia.
“Schizophrenia is a major cause of disability, with active psychosis ranked as the third-most-disabling condition after quadriplegia and dementia and ahead of paraplegia and blindness”.[157
How do you handle this without medication? I am envious.
I’m dependant on the pills as well. I still get the odd breakthroughs but with the medications I’m relatively stable. That just is the way it is.
I’ve been doing this for a while now so for me it’s not that big a deal. I take the pills. I function to a certain level and live a pretty realized life. That isn’t a bad thing. Fifty years ago we were living in mental institutions with really poor prognosis. We are moving a lot further than those dark times!
I think @rogueone is right. Should things be better? Yes. But we have to deal with what we have to work with. And I know despite how much I dislike the side effects I do not want to go back to how I was before I was on meds. It just isn’t worth the risk. That is why I’m not stopping my meds until they get the technology to zap this nasty sucker right out of my head.
I don’t know right off if I am in trouble. Often I will notice I am feeling manic and I can’t sleep after several hours. With the paranoia, sometimes I know that it is paranoid thinking. I might spend some time trying to convince myself to sort of step back.
@TomCat. I get paranoid. I think a certain way and it’s always the same. I start to think a bit magically and I get some ideas of reference …that moves into paranoia. It’s a reason why I don’t work anymore…stress brings it all out and it’s same ole same ole!
I’m dependent on my injection. I’m on a community treatment order has because I become noncompliant and become very ill after 7-10 days not taking it and become a danger to myself.
The general feeling of unwellness I can relate to because without my meds I feel so alone, and scared. I cannot experience humanity without them. I cannot think straight, i cannot function, and above all else i cannot keep myself safe.
My delusions are more than delusions, theyre a state of being. It shifts my entire reality. Plus i can actually have emotions!! with my medication lol
I think about being dependant on medication, but as I see it its as the equivalent of a Diabetic’s insulin, its just something you need, or else you may die. lol
(i also am terrified of my APs not working anymore, cuz all the others ive tried have stopped working after awhile.)
Wow that quote that u just posted really floors me. It’s so true tho, I sometimes wonder would it be better if I was blind or in a wheelchair. Some days I would rather that than sz but I don’t think I’m as severe as others- my issue is really the side effects of the meds causing me issues with socializing and cognition. But that quote really confirms how I feel about this illness… it may be number 3 on the list with active psychosis and it’s sad we have to trade off for the other issue of medication side effects sometimes putting us at number 4 depending on how bad it gets…
I have only been “actively psychotic” off of meds but I understand what they are talking about in that quote. I have been there and done that. On meds it’s not that bad though. Off of meds I am not even aware of what I am doing.
I think I’m only severe socially. A pdoc a few years ago ,after I went on APs regularly with the depot, said I was doing better but it’s hard for me to see it. Mainly because the social deficits are still severe.
I’m not sure how I’d do off meds. Last time they took me off them I had to go back on them after a year.
I would say any psychosis I’ve supposedly had has been on the comparatively mild side.
My psychosis didn’t start out severe but it was really very bad. It got that way after I quit taking my meds and was about four years after I first got sick. If I wouldn’t have stopped my meds I wouldn’t have known how crazy I truly am but I really wanted to come off meds. I honestly still do but now I am afraid to try.