I’m presently very annoyed. I’m being constantly heckled by this bad entity. Ever since I had a dream where a frightening angel with multiple red wings came to me and told me I was meant to have a baby and that it was important I have been even more incredibly wary of sex than I normally am. (I got a very bad vibe from this angel) Whenever I get the tactile hallucinations or whatever they are I really try to fight them.
But lately the entity has been taunting me not just while I’m awake but in my dreams as well. He’s utterly convinced on the fact that I’m going to give into him and go with him in the end. I’m not sure but it feels like he has something to do with the baby thing. Every dream where he comes in he is just so smug and certain he will win, he basically just laughs me off when I tell him no.
And now I’m walking and the first thing I see is that the clouds look like a flag. Which was cool. I get closer and I realize it’s in the shape of a woman! Lying down and holding up this white flag! I was staring at it for a while. Usually when I see weird things in clouds it means something, it’s a message. So I’m trying to figure out what this message is and then as I walk closer and can see more of the sky I see that the cloud hovering over it looks like a massive demon! It was a dark cloud and had big horns and it was leaning over this lady lying down!
And then I realized what was going on and I got really angry and started yelling at the entity that I was NOT going to give into it. What a jerk!! It’s smugness is really making me frustrated right now. Just needed to vent, sorry. I’m not even scared I’m just mad.
I didn’t get a picture of the demon cloud because it (weirdly) began to break up once I became aware of the message. But I did get the woman holding the flag. Do you guys see it?! When I took these pictures I couldn’t see the demon cloud yet because it was behind the tree in the right corner.
To me it seems very clear. I see her face and nose. Her hand wrapped around the base of the flag. I always try to point out the things I see in the clouds to my mom but she never sees them.
Back when I was really bad mentally I saw messages in the clouds almost constantly. I thought they were messengers of the devil/entity/whatever it was, and I was worried they were going to come down and abduct me to bring me to him. FUN TIMES YEAH. I should probably be careful I don’t go back to that place. I was just so offended.
I’m taking a couple classes over the summer yeah. Why?
When i’m psychotic, I imagine random stuff on the tv, radio or newspaper as secret messages to me. Seeing paterns where they dont really exist is common i think. It seems like you have a very creative mind though. Are you an artist by chance?
Really? I don’t know. I’ve experienced a lot worse than this. (Like I don’t think the clouds are the devil’s minions right now!! Man that was a dumb one!!)
I’m a very creative person, yeah. It’s one of my talents I like to think. I get a lot of good ideas and people always expect so much of me because of them but I can’t write well enough to describe the things in my head and I can’t draw for crap. Wish I could. Showing pictures and images would be so much easier than writing.
I’d love, love love it if I could paint. But I really am bad at drawing/art/anything. The best I can do is doodles. I’ve taken art classes too but to no avail. My writing skills far surpass my art skills but a picture’s worth a thousand words, as they say.
I’ve had this little fantasy of what I would do if I was a good painter. It would be beautiful scenery that would catch the eye of the viewer, but scattered around the painting would be dark/disturbing things. A lot of my nightmares have been like that. I’m in a beautiful setting and can use my powers but very disturbing things are occuring even in the beautiful places. Such a strange contrast.
Also about how the world is beautiful but also filled with ugly things and you can choose which to look at. (Lol I enjoy symbolism, cheesy as it is)
Do you know of the artist william blake? A lot of what you were describing reminded me of his work.
Maybe you could practice painting and become good at it? It seems like it would be better than looking for images in the clouds that scare you or make you mad.
I’ve also had visions before as weird as that sounds, that I would enjoy painting. Physical visions. Sometimes during meditation or on the verge of sleep I get vivid closed eye hallucinations and I’ve seen some pretty freaky things. They’re burned into my mind. I’ve seen cool things too though, like a tunnel made of doves.
Maybe I will try painting more. Maybe I’ll be better at it than drawing? I don’t really paint much ever. I can get paint stuff over my short summer break lol.
If I do ever paint anything half decent I’ll post in on here for you guys
Thanks for giving me the idea. Don’t know if it’s gonna happen but it’s in my head now!
