Age 23… I was in a horrible relationship that was mentally abusive… I was so deep I was rocked to sleep by my mom… To this day my mom says that never happened
Also most scientists and pdocs say that sz is hereditary passed through families
In my original life, I had schizophrenia in high school and alien contact…
Then in this life, I got schizophrenia in college and then was diagnosed first with Asperger’s Syndrome and then psychosis from substance induced psychosis which just took me down several notches and then bloomed into schizophrenia and various types of it.
Growing up, I can see I would have had some mental illness or disability like Aspergers, personality disorder, or schizophrenia later on in life.
For me, pot and drugs cause schizophrenia, which I haven’t touched in like 9+ years. I don’t know why but maybe the alien influence, alien dna, or past life memories and recall and trauma type stuff from the aliens that look like humans sometimes and probably are humans sometimes…
I only had 1 friend temporarily in high school and 1 friend temporarily growing up.
In college, I had “facebook friends” and a few good/decent friends, but that’s about it. I prefer being alone now as I don’t trust anyone.
I could have been a doctor, surgeon, or pilot or even an engineer if my life wasn’t destroyed.
I honestly cannot remember my life or existing before 2011 and as late as 2013 depending on the universe. Am I an alien abductee? Clone? Was I in monarch programming (SRA type stuff) and other things like a time slave (Montauk) and a space slave (SSP)? I think so if we include my other past lives in other timelines, sure, I was…nobody believes it or wants to hear it and listen to me. There’s little or no proof at all.
My mother had schizophrenia and got it around the same time as me, age 35. I don’t think her father’s family had any. Her mother was Irish and they say they carry a gene mutation caused by starvation, when the English took their food, that causes schizophrenia.
I had unusual beliefs starting at age 12, but I didn’t have my first psychotic break until I was 15. Its been three years.
My first full on psychotic episode which lasted for many months began at age 16.
I was always kind of weird. Mental illness probably started when I was 17. No one knew I was developing a mental illness but my dad told me in my twenties that I withdrew around 7th grade and “got weird”,in his words. My mom told me in my twenties that she noticed something wrong with me in high school but she didn’t know what it was. Mental illness was never mentioned though. Diagnosed at age 19.
So. Long, Long, Long Ago. I Sat Down In The Hour Of The Howling Wolves. As The Ice Formed Within The Formation Of My Thinking Thoughts Thinking Of Past Thoughts Remembering Thoughts Of Long Ago.
A Parallel Serenity, Tranquil In The Grace Of Thinking.
And I Heard A Voice In The Noise Of An Empty Room. Crowded In The Storm Of Emptiness.
I Thought To Myself. Why Should I Bother. The Patience Of Forgotten Mercy Gave Me A Gift.
And I Listened To It Once Again. . . . . . .
A few minor incidences that may or may not have been related to later psychosis. 1)Waking up in the night as a toddler and saying I had a ‘doggie’ in my eye. 2) At about the age of 9 a man coming out of the bedroom wardrobe and saying I’d live to 91. I’ve never been totally sure whether it was a very vivid dream or not.
As pre school child I was very prone to having nightmares . For years now though I’ve had poor dream recall.
It’s hard to tell when psychosis started. There was a gradual blending of social anxiety into mild depression and anxiety then more severe depression and anxiety. The first psych appointment was a few months before I was 17. The first hospitalisation at the of 18.25 . Perhaps the 1st overt sign of psychosis was thinking I’d lost my teeth. I’ve had a few false memories like that over the years such as thinking I’d written a minor pop hit, and that I’d gone back to my public school for years and years after I’d actually left there.
I’ve had some very similar things. My mother said I would scream and thought there were bugs all over me at night. I was still in a crib and I spoke late, so I’m not sure how she even knows that.
I also had visitors come to me that no one else remembers. And a blue phone booth in our living room my parents swear wasn’t there. (For this I definitely joke that The Doctor visited me as a child.) But, I’ve got all kinds of false memories and so many missing memories. I often laugh it off, but it’s pretty depressing how unreliable my memories are.
I Have A Slightly Serious Spiritual Moment If You Are Interested In Hearing It. . . . . . .
I was diagnosed in 2014 with late onset Schizophrenia at the age of 49. I am not a drinker and have never taken drugs nor are any of my family members sufferers of mental illness. I can only attribute it to a very stressful emotionally abusive marriage. I have suffered anxiety to varying degrees throughout my life though.
Sometimes I feel sorry for myself and ask the question “why me”? I know I shouldn’t do this as there are many people far worse off than myself.
Just wait for a few more years, newer medicine like sep 363856 cut down on side effects a lot and there is a new nasal spray on the horizon which also cut down on side effects a lot
My onset was at age 30. I wish it never happened. I’ve lost a good 6 years and counting to the breakdown and the resulting fallout.
I tend to attribute a lot of my current situation to breaking my neck, but the truth is I was very screwed up as a teenager as well. I had fantasies of blowing things up, I hated everything, I hated school. I had no friends, that I could trust, so I spent a lot of time wandering the woods watching animals and birds go about their business. It was my salvation
I have also had repeated bouts of deep depression through my life.
It’s only recently occurred to me how bad it really was when I was aged about 13
I miss read A single social Cue When I first walked into my first classroom on the first day and made a decision not to talk to anybody and I don’t think I did for about two and a half years apart from The necessary passing cooperation in class I was totally isolated and this was at a boarding school
I was fat I was bullied I had the wrong clothes spent all my time on my own either with Bulimia or with dancing on my own or hiding or self harming or stealing to extremes
Prior to 13 I did stupid things like pretend I had a sprained ankle all the time at school and my sense of humour and my lack of social skills were off
I don’t know where the line is between bullying and paranoia
All feels a bit pending schizophrenia
I had bouts of psychotic behavior and delusional beliefs as a kid, from about 6 on. But I kept them hidden mostly because I got in trouble for talking about it. But the bits that were apparent to others were chalked up to an overactive imagination.
I was diagnosed at 20 after trying to kill myself, because I thought I would drop into my most recent past life. Been in therapy ever since.
Same but at 21, I tried to kill myself twice to prove that I am immortal God.
I’m sorry that happened Aziz. I hope you are doing better since then.