I saw on YouTube a video about schizophrenic art and how it often depicts lots of eyes. This is because they always feel they are on view. I can really relate to this but usually it’s not someone watching but listening. For thirty years now I have thought my inner monologue was on view by any and everyone when around others or alone. When I see people in person it really seems like they know the feelings I have towards them. It must be the body language.
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Drawings can draw a picture of your psyche, if you look hard enough. Looking back at my old drawings, i noticed i used a lot of eyes.
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Ever look up at the ceiling in a store. Eyes all over you. On every street corner too. And every doorbell.
It’s too much.
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I’m old enough to remember Hall and Oat’s Private Eyes song on the radio.
I have a huge delusion about being watched 24/7/365 with satellite. Satellite that can see through walls and dirt, that can see minute detail, that can see through you like an x-ray. Very advanced. In addition to that, I feel my thoughts are read AND ‘they’ put thoughts in my head. They communicate with me and it is not always good stuff. It is beyond invasive. It went away for several months. Like 9 months or so, but when I am stressed out, it can come back. Yesterday it came back. My break of sanity is over and I am back to feeling watched, judged and invaded. Both visually and internally. I took meds for about 6 years but they never helped. At all. I was still delusional and just fat and tired. I don’t know if I want to try meds again. Since they have never worked. I dunno…
I experienced something similar where I thought my inner thoughts and memories and such were being broadcast to others all over the world for remote viewing. Got past it with the right meds. The paranoia was for me the hardest symptom to treat and the last to respond to treatment. But, in time I came around and stayed on my meds. Living in perpetual fear and terror is horrible, so yeah, damn right I take my meds. Never wanna go trough that again.
I’m sorry you’re being bothered by this type of stuff. Hang in there and work with your treatment team, and together you should start seeing some progress. It’s a long illness, and the meds can be almost just as slow.
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I am on a very low dose of an antipsychotic and antidepressant. I don’t believe there are side effects on so low a dose. I could be wrong.
I eat a lot, 4,000 calories a day and I’m 250 lbs. I’m lucky I don’t weight much more! My height is six feet tall. My ideal weight according to some experts is 175 lbs but if I got that skinny I’d really be thin though before I got sick I weighed 130 lbs. I was a teenager and some teens just don’t seem to need food. I didn’t get fat till I had been sick five years. I no longer care, as long as it doesn’t get higher. I plan on getting my weight reduced by 20 lbs. because my blood pressure is low at that weight.
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I have a self stylized Eye of Providence tattoo on the back of my neck to watch my back.
The watchful eye of the Creator observing over his Creation.
I thought about getting a big tattoo on my forehead that say, KEEP OUT!
Alexa heard me fart several times last night. I think my life is over now.
I understand the feeling.
Just a word of advice though, if you do decide to get a tattoo, get one that can easily be covered by clothing just so you can hide it in public if necessary.
My hair usually covers mine, so it’s not obvious or visible unless I want it to be.
A face tattoo is usually something most people regret.
I know you might be speaking in jest because I totally get what you’re saying, I’m just cautioning against actually doing so for a multitude of reasons, it could actually backfire and make things worse.
I don’t mind - it’s helpful when people with low IQ, poor judgement, or both make themselves easily identifiable so I can avoid them.
Not apologizing for the external video cameras. They already helped catch one porch pirate who was hitting our neighbourhood.
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