Post psychosis recovery

Schizophrenia and it’s pshycosis and delusions has shattered my life to pieces. I’ve made a mistake of listening to the commands of audio hallucinations to go on missions to become “more real”.
I was in a delusional state of mind, where I was being watched by the Latin mafia and in need of fleeing my home, or else I would be murdered.
Since then I left home driving from Miami to San Francisco, walked on highways snuck into Amtrak, stole cars, hid in a cargo train to sneak into British Columbia, Canada got deported back to USA and became homeless with all my IDs and cards lost. I seriously believed I was Jesus,Satan the president and the owner of the earth and the galaxy.
Luckily I got a hold on a cell phone and contacted my family who lives in Japan. It might sound exciting and is like some kind of a movie, but I got arrested many times and was put into mental health institution twice… it sucks I have hurt other people and of coarse myself.
Now delusions and hallucination is gone, but left with emptiness,guilt anxiousness,sorrow and still confused. I miss my country everyday as I shut my self out of society in my room… looking at this forum… it’s addicting lol I am sorry I got long… anyone out there have a similar experience? How did you recover/cope?


This forum is addicting! For me it helps me feel less alone.

Welcome to the forum!

Yes, when I had psycosis I believed I was a god at some point. I also danced in the freeway once. That was kinda fun, but not very sane. They sure picked up on that :wink:

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Broadly I have done pretty much all the things you discuss.

It happened in 2004 when I was 16/17 and then again when I was 25/26

I ended up in France (I am in England) as I was riding trains trying to escape my hallucinations.

One time I got to Heathrow airport in London and tried to board a flight to NYC USA, but I was arrested before I could by a ticket.

I had a delusion where the red, white and blue flags of the USA, Britain and France had some special meaning in that it was a tri-state psychic protective liberal estate that we lived in and NYC, Paris and London held special ritual value to the protection of us from the rest of the world. It sounds kinda weird, but also scary that the ■■■■■■■ colours of flags could make me think all these fantastical things.

I have not thought about this kinda stuff for a long time.

As far as I am concerned I am recovered in that this doesn’t happen, but I still need to get more social.

I just got diagnosed with Autism at 32, and I hate it so much. I wish someone took the time to help me when I was younger and not have to wait so long for something I hardly understand. Great idea from a psychologist…

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Yes I was dancing in the street also lol I look back and I dint know what I was thinking…

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Thanks, it’s a relief to be able to talk about these things!

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I do also need to be social… the hardest part. Thank you for taking your time to post, it’s good to know that people have gone on a similar road as I. As we learn new things about ourselves in this life, we encounter things that are unbelievable, sometimes so hard to swallow, but know that you are not alone!

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