Then you should focus on the reading you recieved. “Instead he is patient with us” and we know that love is patient. Does love then punish as if he were angry? No because anger is the opposite of patience. Instead what he does is heal us and cleanse us, and we often like children scorn the physician for the remedy he applies.
God grant it that you will be able to say that you no longer fear God but have progressed to love Him