Pool of self pity

This past weekend I was basically swimming in a pool of self pity and loneliness, drinking, listening to I don’t like ■■■■ by earl sweatshirt, eating buffalo wings. It wasn’t very productive I hope I can get back into a productive phase this week. How do people get themselves out of it?

Well I got hospitalized.

Not to scare you but it was actually what got me out of drugs and alcohol.

You remind me if me when I was in college. Listening to rap, drinking alone, my favorite food is chicken wings. I still self pity myself sometimes. I think it could be healthy pity if you’re sober and wording it to a group. Try to direct it to different places. If you bottle that emotion inside through drinking and stuff it’s no good. I do it now in therapy and they make me feel better. My group I go to.

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Usually some kind of duty wakes me up, reminding me there’s a life outside and (for good or worse) some little creature depending of me.

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Yea ive been so busy with school i havent had the time to go talk to someone about any groups they have on campus. I mean i talk to my regular therapist and hes alright.

This is my problem. I’m so depressed. I’ve recovered from my paranoid delusions and now the guilt. I said such mean and awful things when I was paranoid and I can’t take them back. I can’t believe this happened to me I’ve lost confidence in myself and feel ashamed. I look around me and people are cheerful, helpful and normal and I got so sick. I want to be cheerful and optimistic too. I want to be nice and believe in the world again. My therapist said it’s an illness but still I feel so bad.

Sometimes I have periods of enormous cruelty to myself. I would tell myself the worst things, the lowest insults, self punishing.
But soon I would realize that it is just another form of playing the victim role, this time a victim of my own persona. It leads you nowhere. Stop victimizing yourself. Tell yourself nice things even if you don’t really mean it. Repeated enough, it will become truth. And remember that you are worth it or else you wouldn’t be here.

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[quote=“Kazuma, post:1, topic:33543, full:true”]How do people get themselves out of it?[/quote]Walks. Long & blissful walks on good weathered days. Also, I recently discovered self-help & ASMR videos on Youtube, as well as some really good writing & reading projects I have since I strongly believe I will be posting on Youtube about my condition someday on YT.

Good foods goes a long way too. Eating is not necessarily all about nutrition, sometimes you just gotta eat for the sole sake of pleasure.

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Pool of self -pity? I think I’m in an ocean of self pity…with sharks swimming all around me. People tell me I need therapy, I can barely afford the medical help I’m getting now, let alone add another bill under my belt. Besides therapy wont get rid of the voices…they’ve always been in my head even if at times I can ignore them better than other times, they’ve always been there, and I think for me they always will be there.

I need to make amends, because they deserve it,and I will like myself better. I’m not sure how to do it but I will try my best.