Schizophrenia.com

Pondering and confession


#1

The Ponder:
This has been an odd one for me. I’m pretty open about being SZ. I’ve even had some positive/ supportive reactions to it. I’ve had some negative ones too, but that’s the mixed bag of life. Heck yeah the negative reactions hurt, but the positive reactions heal.

When it comes to my “being a man”, I’m not too manly I don’t think. I’ve really never cared. If I could get through my day with my pants on and not kill myself listening to the circus in my head then that was enough success for me.

I’ve played tea party with my kid sis when she was three and four. I’ve played baseball with her when she was eight and nine. She was a fierce little red head when she was young and she is more macho then I will ever be. I’ve never been that fierce or macho. I don’t seem to have it in me. I like surfing swimming. I like working on motors and trying to fix them up. I don’t hunt. (North Seattle, not really a need)

There is a small hobby that gets mentioned here on the forum and when I see it, I want to ask questions. But then that would be admitting that I know how to do this… But why would I be able to talk about my SZ with more ease then this one skill? That seemed like an odd perception.

So, The confession… It might not be a MANLY thing to do, but for some reason I know how to do it… Knitting.
A man, knitting. I know it’s not the norm, but I’ve never been the norm.

What I’m working is a triangle rib knit for a blanket. It’s like a memory work out for the brain. I have to remember what I’m doing and what part I’m on and not get distracted. So it forces me to concentrate. I’m not as fast as the kid sis. But this is sort of making me think and focus.
My sis and I are knitting this pattern in blocks and then she binds the blocks together. It’s all different chunks of colour. We’re making it for our Mom’s birthday. It has to be done in 4 months. It’ a reversible pattern.

Cast on multiple of 8 sts
Row 1 (rs)- *P1, K7; rep to end
Row 2 (ws) -*P6, K2; rep to end
Rows 3 and 11- *P3, K5; rep to end
Rows 4 and 10- *P4, K4; rep to end
Rows 5 and 9- *P5, K3; rep to end
Row 6- *P2, K6 rep to end
Row 7- *P7, K1; rep to end
Row 8- *P2, K6; rep to end
Row 12- *P6, K2; rep to end
Rep rows 1-12 for triangle rib.

Other knitters out there, what are you working on? Does it help your memory too?


#2

Wow, so brave of you to admit having this hobby which needs a lot of patience, I tried doing some knitting in the past but I kept changing the pattern all the time, I sometimes tight it so hard then I loosen it, the final result is really a funny shape with no usage value what so ever…I don’t have the patient to do a delicate job, I go angry and pissed of, every thing I do must be done fast and perfect as much as possible or I never attempt doing it…even that I’m a girl I do love things that boys love too…people label things as girly or manly, it’s totally irrelevant, you should be doing whatever you find amusing.


#3

Thank you for that. It was just feeling weird that I have no problem saying, “I have SZ” yet I was getting so freaked out about saying that I know how to knit a bit.


#4

It’s not as odd as you would think. I taught my kids dad how to knit, do cross stitch and I think plastic canvas. He made book marks. The stereotypical roles of male vs. female are not so black and white anymore. The world is full of the in between grey. I recently just finished knitting a sweater for my hubby. Took my almost a year to do it and was the hardest pattern I have ever followed. Turned out pretty good :smile: Anything that you create is worth being proud of.


#5

I just looked up plastic canvas… I feel a new hobby coming on. Our parents have a fit about dog-earing pages.
“Use a bookmark” has been the cry in our house as far back as I can remember. Our house has always been the temple of the book. There can’t be enough bookmarks in the house. Thank you for this idea. :books: