Nah I have always got along pretty well with people. When my mental illness got particularly bad in my teens my social skills definitely took a hit…for a while I totally isolated myself and couldn’t really talk to people…then I was psychotic and just weird and going around preaching about love and kindness. (I thought I was god at the time lol) People thought I was nice and didn’t bother me but just thought I was sort of weird or had some sort of issue. So people sort of avoided me as a teen, which really made me feel sucky because I’d never experienced that before. I ended up doing a bunch of dumb stuff to try to fit in better that I regretted later.
My social skills are pretty solid again now though. I have my awkward moments sometimes but who doesn’t.
Well I was overweight with a moustache in grammar school…so I was bullied. (don’t look much different now though) I was good at soccer in high school but totally unpopular. Even my teammates started to hate me. I wrote a gossipy slam book and am probably remembered for that. I do feel that I am a nicer person now though (might be the SZ)
Freshman year: only bullied occasionally but picked last for teams consistently.
Senior year: the coaches had gotten to know me for four years: Occasionally picked as captain and it was me who was picking the teams.
High school was weird for me. I was often friendless and alone but then weird little blips occurred where I did normal stuff. For instance we had a large open area in the middle of the school. it was where a lot of the popular people congregated at breaks and lunch to talk in little groups and to be seen. In 11th grade I had about three friends and we hung out in that place, close to the jocks and other known people.
I even went out for soccer in 11th grade. I didn’t get much playing time in games but at least I went through all the practices for two and a half months and I tried my best. 12th grade I was hanging out in the area where all the stoners hung out and smoked pot at lunch and breaks. Everything I did in high school I felt like an outsider but at least I was CLOSE to being accepted, lol. And I shared many a joint with popular stoners and I even sold pot so some people knew me for that.
And another weird blip ( by “blip”, I meant things that made no sense or shouldn’t have happened). But me and my friend cut school one day with one of the most popular kids in school and we wernt to his house and smoked about ten joints between the three of us all in one sitting and we somehow impressed him and we kind of became friends and started partying with him and going to his house and meeting a few of his popular friends. It was just weird and unexpected.
Make no mistake, I was definitely a loser in high school but I did some really cool things.
I was a fat kid with coordination so actually did well in school sports, but the prodrome of the illness killed my social desires so that I focused on doing individual sports like biking and karate. Now I’m still fat but enjoy walking a lot cuz it seems to relieve some of my restless feelings…even in the hospital I would pace for hours around the square that sat in the center of the unit. It’s all good…
I was always picked last for everything. I have poor hand eye coordination. Like playing soft ball I was getting yelled at constantly. So I decided to give them a reason to yell. If I was on shortstop and if the ball didn’t glide neatly into my glove I made no efforts to go for it. I didn’t move at all. I hated gym class and truthfully I didn’t like the slug who ‘taught’ it.
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